Why Do Women Prefer To Be Spanked? Women Prefer A Man That Resembles Their Dad…
Jun 22nd, 2007 by Ugg
Women Crave Arguments and Drama
Women live off of emotion while men instead live life based on logic. Women crave the excitement of emotions like anger, longing, lust, and happiness. Meanwhile men prefer to end arguments quickly with logic, rather then prolong it in order to feel emotionally satisfied. This is basic human nature. While men and women can mimic each other’s tendencies and traits, who they are remains embedded deep within their sexual DNA.
For example, take this recent article from LiveScience about Women Who Prefer Men Who Look Like Dad:
The anthropologist calculated 15 key proportions based on how various features—such as the lips, nose, cheekbones and brows—related to each face’s height and width. The researchers also compared the 15 random faces to each of the father’s faces to determine how closely they resembled one another.
The women then rated their childhood relationships with their fathers based on how emotionally invested they felt their dads had been in raising them and how much time their fathers had spent with them. The women were split into two groups based on how positively or negatively they rated their relationships.
Then the researchers asked the women to rate how attractive they found each of the 15 random male faces.
The women who had reported positive relationships with their fathers were much more likely to be attracted to men resembling their fathers, the researchers found. On the other hand, women with bad dad relationships did not find men who looked like their fathers appealing.
There’s more to the article, but this is again proof that the things you’ve heard growing up sometimes tend to be based in fact. Men seem to be attracted to women that resemble their mothers while women look for someone that reminds them of dad.
The article goes deeper and dissects the actual quality of the relationship but I think this is wholly unimportant. I’ve found that women who had an absentee father or unavailable father, long for a man who will treat them right, but at the same time, also find a man who they know will leave them or hurt them just like daddy did. A man that will make them cry, make them insecure, and self-questioning, will cheat on them, etc. Perhaps it’s a matter of wanting to remember those innocent feelings of youth, or perhaps it’s a way to control via sex, the emotions they wished to feel from their fathers.
Women Love Being Spanked
Most women may not even know this, but many of my readers have shared the same story over and over again when asking for advice. The women they’ve spent so hard trying to please in order to gain her affection, is now a completely different person in the bedroom. One reader was dumbfounded when the woman he thought was a prim and proper princess, was now asking him to pull her hair and smack her ass. He’d spent his whole life hearing that women should NEVER be smacked and yet here was one begging for it.
There should be a distinction drawn between abuse and playful spanking here. Most women love a smack on the rear as a playful gesture and in the bedroom as a sign of dominance. Few women truly enjoy being “slaves”, but many women enjoy feeling that a strong man is overpowering them. The type of man you see on the covers of romance novels. They want to feel like a fragile and sensitive woman in the arms of a lustful and confident man.
Be careful though, as this is like a lightswitch sometimes. Another reader wrote that he once extended this foreplay out of the bedroom and rather than a smile got a look of shock. Like the woman in the other room was simply an outfit that was worn and shed in that room, never to be seen outside.
Some female readers have even written in before to say similar things. That while they never ASKED to be spanked, when with a man that did this, they felt turned on even more. Not sure why, but going with it, it turned out to be something they often carried into their next relationship. In a overly politically correct society like ours is today, I think we sometimes lose focus on the fact that being who we were built to be is not that bad, so long as we find comfort in it and try to embrace our genetic dispositions rather than cover them up.
Interestingly enough, many guys like being spanked too as long as it’s playful and in the moment. It has to do with the nerve endings and the fact that it raises the excitement of the situation.
Doesn’t this sound sadistic?
love to be spanked by my husband
may I be your husband just for tonight I really want that
I would like 2 be yr Husband 4 > one week!
If this is based on childhood relationships, as the actual scientific study would suggest, why be so hung up on “genetic dispositions” and what is “embedded deep within their sexual DNA”? A hell of a lot of men like to be spanked as well, and I have no idea what would make anyone think that “men prefer to end arguments quickly with logic, rather then prolong it in order to feel emotionally satisfied”. Not in my experience.
On the latter, most studies concerning relationship psychology speak heavily on how communication differs between men and women. Typically, most men don’t crave the continued emotional stimulation from extended conversations. To put it simply, it’s usually more about the destination than the journey.
“Sexual DNA” may be a bit of a misnomer. While DNA is genetically developed, “Sexual DNA” is more a combination of genetics and upbringing. Termed as such because of the fact that it is not a true physical thing, but rather the result of our upbringing in combination with our inherited sexual traits.
No, spanking is not sadistic — at least not for most spankers. It is a way to get a woman incredibly hot, and for the women who DO like to be spanked, it is amazing. I can’t believe how common this desire is — how many women really want to be taken over a man’s knee. Not all of them want it hard, although many do. It does so many things — stimulation, helplessness, humiliation…
To explore part of the emotional reasoning behind spanking, movies like “Secretary” are good viewing. While it’s a bit of a more extreme example, it’s a really powerful movie about the passion, lust, and need to be adored/conquered/dominated by someone you trust, love, or hate.
Saw it recently and would very much recommend it.
spanking was used on me as a child. a good hairbrushing quickly was administered by my father using a hairbrush on my bare bottom. this procedure quickly corrected the misdoing and the misdoing not repeated knowing what would get. in my marriage we both decided spanking would be used on each other when mutually agreed thier misdoing would result in a hot bottom . this procedure far better than the previous option consisting of long arguments followed by hours of silence.
I belive it comes from women wanting an alpha male. A woman innatley wants the man to dominate (not bully) and the idea of a no nonsense male who will put her over his knee is quite erotic to the majority of females. Even in this era of women having being empowered. I have reserched many relationships where the women holds a sucessful career but is submissive in the household. Not the doormat kind but allows the man to be what his role instinctaly is head of the household. Relation ships such as this seem to flourish.
A spanking is not abuse, usualy even in childhood it is given out of love for correction. The children taken away from families were not the ones spanked but the ones beaten. There is a line. I have never heard of a women shouting abuse when she has been spanked by her partner.
As it plays a part in many erotic magazines as well as internet sites maybe its not as kinky as some would belive
I think you’re on the money and I’ve always likened that aspect of female success to beating a video game.
Yes, you conquered something difficult, but at the end, you find yourself on top of the mountain all alone and still wanting.
I think one of the major problems is that some women become so focused on doing everything a man can do, they forget that deep down, it is perfectly fine to submit. That surrender and trust is critical to a successful relationship and to true personal expression.
I’d even go so far as to say that many women may find themselves secretly pushing themselves harder to succeed because they secretly fear the idea that they really just want to be held securely and dominated, but feel that would make them weak or less of a “strong” woman.
Man or woman, submission to another is something we all struggle with. The more we struggle and build social structures to encourage or enable that struggle, the more things like this sort of spanking become more secretly enticing and desirable.
All a man has is his manhood and when taken away, he does not feel like a man no more.
Women who understand this one sentence above can find many successful relationships. I am sick of women now-a-days who deem themselves independent and does not give their man the upper hand. You can be fully independent and yet give your man the upper hand, then your man will have his manhood. Remember, you are the one who gives the upper hand so really, logically you have the upper hand. To elaborate more on this idea of upper hand, some women will only settle for a man who can snatch the upper hand off them while others will just hand it over. I like women who do not just hand it off.
Summarily, let your man be the man in relationship and you will have a much better relationship. If your man does not deserve it, then help him by guiding him in the right direction.
As for the spanking, it goes all the way to the dawn of civilization. Back then as long as a man can overpower a woman, then he will have sex with her. Women would fight back but if overpowered they’ll give up–just like animals. The strongest men had the ability to do this. Thus, psychologically, subconsciously some women still will only give in to men that will make them feel weak. However, now-a-days the feeling weaker is exercised differently. Women were like property to men, so men administered their behavior and spanked them just like their kids for correcting behavior.
Now-a-days they do not want to admit that they are property to men, but subconsciously they do. Hope this does not sound sexist but that is just how it is. They are not property though, but only because at one era we (men) did not care and we did not know any better. But now we all do–hopefully.
Just love each other, and fulfill each others desires.
Let me know if you guys need more input.
I am outa!
actually the world is sexist…it used to be and it will last forever…..
because like what you said, that’s how it works,
sexist last for thousands years and it changed the genetic or maybe i should say it maintains the genetic that makes women want to submit want to be dominated……
‘the survival of the fittest’…..
but no one knows what women like thousands years ago, maybe they are not masochists then…..^^
Women generally want a man that is a real man, not a wuss. A man that is strong enough to be their leader is also usually strong enough to protect them. That’s the way men and women are wired, and when roles are messed up or reversed things go wrong. If men were taught by their fathers what a man’s role is (to be a faithful provider and leader to his family) and women were taught their role (to be equal yet submitted partners) society would be a much better place.
Gee-Calvin-such an expert on sex and relationships you are! Not only is your fascinating information exact and well documented, your way with words only proves your intelligence. Things like, “he does not feel like a man no more.” Your comments imply that you know exactly what you are talking about and end up with the advice that we can all defer to you for more of the same when we end up needing your philosophies again.
Which in my case will be, well, never. You really are outta. Outta your mind to think anyone would listen to such stupidity.
What’s the big mystery about many women liking to play in the bedroom, but wanting proper respect outside the bedroom? It makes perfect sense to me and doesn’t mystify me at all.
That’s where the saying, “A lady in public and a whore in private” comes from.
Women like that are awesome! They’re proper and respectable in public so you can take them home to mom and be proud, and introduce them to coworkers and be proud, and if a guy goes to church, he can bring her there and be proud fo her. She won’t embarrass him in public with slutty behavior because she is a respectable lady.
Yet in private she’s got a lot of pentup bad girl that needs to be released and she wants to play hard and naughty. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! Polar women like this are fantastic!
I prefer women who are proper and respectable in public and naughty in private. That’s where the saying, “Naughty, but nice” comes from, or as I like to say, “Nice and naughty”.
It’s about keeping behavior appropriate to the circumstances and moment. I love women like that.
By contrast, I had two GFs who were consistently naughty and they embarrassed me and humiliated me many times in public. Like one time I introduced one of them to my 80 year old neighbor ladies and she told them a blow job joke. OMG. Not funny.
At the other extreme of consistent behavior is the girls/women who are consistently proper at all times in all places. Good in public, but frustrating in the bedroom. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is for a man to be with a beautiful women who won’t do anything in bed her mom or preacher didn’t give her permission to do?
Women who display consistant behavior across all circumstance (i.e. - all good girl or all bad girl) are always inappropriate a portion of the time. Women who adapt their behavior to the circumstance are behaving appropriately to the situation. i.e. - a lady in public, and a naughty spankofile in private who might even let a guy do some things he’s never done before.
A lady is public & a whore in private… that’s what my husband and I both like.
He treats me with total respect outside the bedroom. We are totally equal and work together toward mutual goals.
Inside the bedroom, our mutual goal is mutual satisfaction and that results in him being dominant and me being submissive. I like to be ’slutty’ in the bedroom, to try new things, to have fun - SEX IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN! And every now and again, we take this out of the bedroom - such as when we go to the movies and I dress provacatively (no panties, or an open nippled bra)…
BTW - I am 48 and my husband is 50 - we’ve been married20+ years and keeping sex fun has been the way we have stayed happy.
Women want to be spanked for a variety of reasons. Summerizing can leave many things unexplained, however, I was asked by a women to spank her on a regular basis (and it does not involve sex). In her own words without editing:
“i have many reasons for wanting to be spanked. The reasons vary but i have an emotional and physical need to be spanked. Here are a few reasons:
1. i enjoy being spanked
2. i need the discipline
3. i need to answer to someone
4. spankings keep me grounded…keeps me from getting to big for my pants….i have a lot of authority with my job and it helps me from abusing that authority
5. i like the feeling of having someone control me
6. if i have done something wrong for a punishment spanking it does help me with guilt feelings for what i have done once i have been spanked
7. it relieves stress and tension for me
8. if a spanking is done correctly it makes me feel safe and secure
i like having to submit and place myself over your lap. i also enjoy being taken in hand as i like that type of dominance and physical control.”
My girlfriend loves for me to pull her hair, smack her face and spank her. The harder I hit, the harder we both orgasm. However, she only wants it sometimes. Other times, she wants to be the one on top and while I don’t like being hit or having my hair pulled, I love doing it to her.
It makes the whole experience so much more enticing when I do it. Why is it that she only wants it sometimes and others she wants to be the dominate one? She understands my likes though and only bites and rubs my softly while she is on top. I just don’t understand why she changes so drastically between our sex. We usually have sex every other day, or every day. It’s been like this the whole year we’ve been dating. Any ideas as to why?
As God is my witness, I met a lady online in Siberia and just returned from a trip, 1/21/10, to meet her in person. She begged me to spank her which I had never done before and doing it it freaked me out. I found this web page researching if a woman wanting to be spanked is perverted but apparently it’s an OK thing. I did what she ask but after the one and only belt session I put ice on her butt because I felt so guilty and wanted to prevent any bad bruising. She enjoyed the abuse so much and had such intense climaxs that I hated to deny her such pleasure and, because I think it’s important to be a good lover. It was extremely difficult for me to strike her because I had to go to a very dark place in me. I’ll probably have to go into therpy now after all this.
All this generalization is ridiculous. Some women liked to be spanked, some women don’t. Just as some men like to be spanked.
I personally like spanking in the bedroom. I have found that I have two warring aspects of my personality—and I am sure it is the same for a lot of the independent women who like to be spanked. Part of me wants to feel dominated and overpowered by a strong man, a man who has a calm and self-confident demeanor that also makes me feel like no matter what, everything will turn out ok. The other part of me doesn’t need protection, doesn’t want my freedom checked or reigned in by anyone, she is self-confident and proud of herself and has no problem making her own decisions and dealing with the consequences of them. The point is: I need both sides to feel whole. The men that think I don’t need pride or independence and that I should always submit to my man, need to reign in their pride a bit. If you can’t feel like a man without dominating your woman, you need to take a hard look at your own insecurities, because it’s ok for men to submit too. Maybe you need to forgive yourself for being insecure.
We all need balance. No one in this world is just one thing all the time. We all want to play multiple roles, because we are all complex individuals. Men should not expect women to be one thing all the time, just because we like to be independent and strong in one area of our lives doesn’t necessarily mean we want it in others. Or that we don’t.
That’s what was wrong with the old system, the man being dominant and the woman being submissive–you can’t force people to act a certain way all the time and expect them to be happy. The men of that time were just as unhappy as the women were, and modern men tend to forget that. They were stressed out all of the time because they carried all of the responsibilities. That’s a heavy burden to bear, I don’t care who you are. That’s why men are living longer now than they did back then—they aren’t drinking or smoking or womanizing themselves to death to deal with the stress of being “the man.”