7 Tips To Easily Have A Successful ThreesomeNote: I’ve covered the dynamics of a successful group encounter and how to avoid imbalances, so it is wise to know these basics before proceeding further.

Men aren’t the only ones that find women attractive. Women often base their own worth around how attractive they are in comparisons to their peers. Much of their time is spent focusing on how beautiful a woman is. The same way men compete over who drives the nicer car or who makes the most money. As a result, insecurities abound. This is why, with the proper encouragement and attitudes (non-judgmental), women can even enjoy ‘man things’ like strip clubs and porn.

The tips below don’t take unfair advantage of these realities, but instead, help allow them to naturally collide. Follow the tips below and nobody should feel shorted by the experience.

How Do You Find Women For Your Experience?

There are a couple different ways to meet women for your little bed party. Some are more effective than others. Some take out the spontaneity, an important element, making it seem more robotical and mechanical in nature than you’d perhaps fantasized. Some can awkwardly affect a relationship and cause further trouble down the road.

  • You and your woman look for another woman together

    This can be done by hitting bars with your girlfriend or by directly looking for online matchmaking services (craigslist, MySpace, etc.) to find the woman. There are also parties, swingers clubs, and other means to do this.
    Caveat: When planning starts going into something like this, it often creates too much thought and worry. Additionally, knowing another woman too much outside of this may case complications in the future.
  • A woman you know suggests it with someone either of you knows

    Your girlfriend has a friend you both think is attractive. Or perhaps you have a friend she is attracted to or comfortable with.
    Caveat: While definitely a male fantasy, this also poses future problems and could also ruin a good friendship that has no place in the threesome.
  • You bring two women together for a group affair

    Two women who you know independently of each other. You’ve had sex with both and after comfort has been established and the tone of the non-monogamous relationship is set, you set the stage for all of you to meet and share.
    Caveat: While the dynamics seem daunting, this is probably the best option of the three until you have some experience in the psychology of sharing a partner. Nobody loses anything if someone feels uncomfortable later or regrets the event. There are no ties to cut here.

How To Get A Woman To Join You In A Threesome

Because emotional ties to one of the women in your bed may lead to further complications, we’re going to focus on the last of the above three here.

  1. Develop the first sexual relationship
  2. Develop a sexual relationship with one woman. Ensure that monogamy and commitment haven’t yet entered your vocabularies. Discover if she’s curious about other woman. Don’t be cute or side-step the point – be direct and ask “Are you into women?”. This is best done after you’ve slept together once or twice. Make sure not to ask immediately after you’ve been with her though, lest she fear that your motives are untrue.

  3. Develop the next relationship
  4. Repeat the process again with another woman. Again, find if she’s bisexual or interested in other women. It is important that both are on the same “level” regarding looks. Don’t get a 9 and a 6 together unless everyone really seems into it.

  5. Share Another Woman With You
  6. Tell one of the woman that you want to share another woman with her. Tell the other the same thing. Be careful here to use the words “with you” and not “share you” – she must feel valued to feel comfortable.

  7. Loose Lips Sink Ships
  8. Keep your lips tight and avoid getting into details about the other girl. This means no pictures or chatting about the other woman. Instruct the woman to trust you. When the sexual tone kicks in, the moment will help carry away any pickiness the women have. If you allow their logical brains to think about the situation, a ‘not so cute nose’ or things like hair color could be your downfall. Women are very picky.

  9. Invitations
  10. Invite each woman to meet up at the same time. Do this separately. They should both know what is coming and should have given you the unsaid ‘ok’ at this point. You can do this at a bar or at your house. At any rate, for the first time.. a little alcohol can go a long way in smoothing out any fears.

  11. Relax
  12. DO NOT talk about what is going to happen. Relax, enjoy each other’s company, and keep things fun and sexy. You should do your best to avoid leaving them alone to chat. You’re there to keep the mood happy and fun.

  13. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
  14. After a couple drinks and about 30-45 minutes of setting the tone. Kiss one girl. Then kiss the other. Things have to seem even, so go back and forth. If things feel right, try a three-way kiss. If momentum is building up without a problem, begin foreplay and sex with each woman. Remember to alternate effectively and don’t worry if the woman aren’t instantly into it. As the tone and heat builds, they’ll hit their comfort moment and begin to join.

    ** Alternate Method **
    Another way to ease into things is with a massage. After the kissing and touching begins, lay one woman down and have you and the other woman gently massage her. This allows the other woman to feel comfortable touching the other woman and will also raise her acceptance. After a short while, rotate and let the other woman have the benefit of your four hands.

    Lastly, after each woman has had their turn becoming acquainted with the other, allow them to massage you. Them being higher than you gives them a sense of power and the fact that they are now sharing something less scary than sex, will allow them to feel connected to each other. When the time feels right, turn over. From there, everyone should be in a position to carry the night to a fun and exciting close.

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31 Comments »

Comment by Stefen Ville
2007-04-16 14:30:53

I disagree that you shouldn’t talk about it. The idea was exciting last time I did this and we all got hotter talking about things. We all knew each other though so that may not count.

That massage technique is golden.

Comment by Ugg
2007-04-16 14:35:00

Tom Leykis has a nice trick of reminding guys to be as quiet as possible when on the way to getting laid. Every word said is another word that can eventually be used against you.

Not that he’s full of great advice or that women don’t like to hear you talk – but if you’re leading this, it’s best if you can do damage control on something someone else says. If you mess up, there may not be anyone present to try and explain what you meant :)

 
 
Comment by cutiedawg
2007-04-16 14:32:32

I had an ex boyfriend who sed he wanted to share me and it made me feel like trash. we ended up getting drunk one night and i tried it but i broke up with him a week after. it was my first time and i didnt want to be shared.

Comment by Ugg
2007-04-16 14:39:16

A friend of mine mentioned this when we were talking about the subject the other day. She had the same thing happen to her with an ex boyfriend. Whether she was lying or not, she said those words ended up making the biggest difference.

Share another woman with you = you are special

Share you with someone else = you are disposable

 
Comment by aliasd
2007-04-17 14:51:19

Your first time? As in your first time with another girl, or your first time in bed?

If it was your first time, this guy had no business asking you to have a threesome anyway!

Aw well, I guess a lot of us wish the first time was better…

 
 
Comment by alec
2007-04-16 20:48:01

All I do is put on a little sex panther and fill my underwear up with indian food, and I’m ready for a night of potential three way scissoring.

Comment by amber
2009-01-19 16:19:18

yep, that always leads to the hottest sunday afternoons…

 
 
Comment by nemesis
2007-04-16 22:10:57

First of all.. this whole article is extremely misleading. If you want a threesome, you shouldnt be looking for a monogamous relationship first then trying to steer it into a 3-way score. I had a relationship with a sleezy fellow who WASTED MY TIME for months before revealing his true intentions. Upon posing the question, the other girl who was way more into me than him to begin with showed me all his chat logs… I dumped him. Beware fellas, there are a lot of girls who will agree to be in a threesome with you TO STEAL YOUR GIRLFRIEND. they dont give an eff about you.. you’re just a stupid horny troll who doesn’t appreciate his gf.. and she can prove it!

You want a real 3-some? Find a girl who wants an open relationship. It’s easy. Find a girl who has a habit of cheating on guys. Get into an open relationship with her.. then bring in another bi girl. Don’t get pissed if they lez out and leave you hanging though.

Comment by Ugg
2007-04-16 22:17:32

Step one mentions that these relationships should only be sexual in nature – the key here is to leave emotions for another less experimental relationship.

 
 
Comment by nemesis
2007-04-16 22:14:29

Also, notice how step #2 involves CHEATING on your first relationship. Not the way to go.

Comment by Ugg
2007-04-16 22:16:24

I think you mis-read :)

You’ll notice the second sentence of the first line item is:

Ensure that monogamy and commitment haven’t yet entered your vocabularies.

 
 
Comment by jimbo
2007-04-17 01:59:25

Of course the easiest way to have a 3-some is to go to Thailand and then find the Eden club in Bangkok (I think it is on Soi 7 or Soi 8). 1 1/2 hours of anything goes with a couple of lovely ladies runs about US$125 – and that is with toys and costumes…

 
Comment by TEA
2007-04-17 05:08:02

nice text.but what if 2 people who is in relationship want’s to find a third person(girl).how to do that?

Comment by Ugg
2007-04-17 10:01:40

Well, there are a couple ways. You can try conventional places like bars and/or clubs, but there are also dedicated swinger bars/clubs and websites that help facilitate this.

Try Google for some places in your area :)

 
 
2007-04-17 09:11:41

[...] a little do-it-yourself guide for anyone looking to impregnate as many “Montel” guests as possible. It has the [...]

 
Comment by loraxxarol
2007-04-17 09:12:03

Sorry, but MySpace is not a matchmaking site. Technically it’s SUPPOSED to have been created to allow bands a common location through which to advertise their music and gigs.

At best for your purposes, it’s a social networking site. It contains no built-in functionality for matching anyone with anyone else for dating of any kind.

Comment by Ugg
2007-04-17 10:07:25

While true, it’s pretty well-known that MySpace is pretty good as a hookup site as well. Not only do you have pictures and details on the people you can send messages too, many folks advertise being straight/bi/gay.

 
 
Comment by i hate jimmy page
2007-04-17 10:12:29

I’d like to share a pizza and another woman with you.

 
Comment by matt
2007-04-18 08:13:50

I was under the impression MySpace was a social networking site, and not specifically geared towards any one group of people–bands or anybody else. Bands and comedians just use it as a tool.

Of course, it is full of tools, so it all comes around in the end.

Back to the article, at what point do you explain you need to drizzle man frosting on their faces to make it a sucsessful 3some?

Comment by Ugg
2007-04-18 09:36:41

Well if you’ve gotten that far, I’d defer to the artist’s expert intuition ;)

 
 
Comment by dtcb
2007-04-18 22:04:21

I have to agree with jimbo and nemisis. Primarly because I’ve tried both.

1. in agreement with Nemisis: I have a fuck buddy (for lack of a better term).

We are casual in our accuantence. We don’t really call each other often or just ‘hang out’ but, when we do run into each other in the bars, we might end up going home and shagging. No commitment and safe sex of course. She likes to do 3 ways with another girl (not another guy; we tried once with another fuck buddy, she didn’t like it). If I’m out with a girl and she sees us, she will come over to say hi. At some point, my buddywill lean in and ask if the other girl is ‘game’. We’ve made something happen about 3 or 4 times and in each instance she’s all over the other girl. (This is over the course of several years by the way….not every other weekend). And we have had more than a few ‘no’ responses.

My ‘buddy’ is definitely bi as, without getting into too much detail, she requires both sets of moving parts to achieve liftoff. But, she doesn’t get to make this type of encounter happen too often so she’s a bit voracious with the women. The women who have agreed are often ‘curious’ and feel more comfortable with another woman than an additional guy. But, my buddy definitely brings them into to more than I do. The minute we get to my flat or her flat, she’s trying to get the other women to make out or undress. I’ve had to slow her down a few times. “Hey, get the Bacarach on and pour a few glasses. Geez.”

I live in a major city (in Asia) with lots of travellers so encounters seem to be easier to make happen. People tend to be more adventurous.

2. In agreement with ‘jimbo’: I have hired 2 or 3 women (in a country where it’s legal) as well. I don’t want to discuss the moral quagmire of prostitution. This is about 3 ways. The women were nice, we took a few hours and a few drinks to discuss the dynamics beforehand and the sex was safe (as it should always be regardless). Unfortunately this is harder to accomplish for women (not a lot of duce bigelows out there).

 
2007-07-25 14:52:37

[...] a little do-it-yourself guide for anyone looking to impregnate as many “Montel” guests as possible. It has the stink of [...]

 
Comment by Rob
2008-06-24 14:57:15

My wife & I are thinking about a 3some with another guy. Also one with another girl. This could get interesting! Any tips on an extra guy in the bed?

 
Comment by sirmarjalot
2010-12-29 10:37:27

Iv had countless threesomes, some extremely good what you would call the porn star experience. But I must admit to having paid for them. In some parts of the world though this is very cheap. This is the only way most men will ever experience a threesome.

 
Comment by stilltrying
2012-02-23 13:07:05

Well, I had a 3sum in high school. Ive been bisexual since before I lost my virginity. Im happily married now, and totally in love with my husband-whose never had a 3sum before. I feel like he deserved more experimental fun in his younger years then he had. Ive also had many more partners in my life then he has.

I want to have a successful 3sum where we both feel sexy and have fun, but I dont want him to get all caught up with a new girl and kinda leave me feeling left out. I was actually trying to look up successful POSITIONS for 3sums, positions where everyone is involved. Help?

 
Comment by sheeba
2012-03-13 23:37:58

i am indian a woman 43 yrs.in my experience ,with love we can have a successful 3 some relationship.for the last five yrs my self and my gf and bf doing this.we are working in the same office and mentally attached friends. we 3 are very happy to do this and respect each others and try to give happiness to each of us.

 
Comment by Ithicaone
2012-05-31 19:05:41

I agree we set a date. And have been talking and bouncing ideas off each other. Not in a clinical way but I called him and asked if I could suck his ****, and then I talked her and discussed some positions that would be fun. So far we are all real ready to go! But its not til tomorrow so……This looks like it should he fun. One question should there be some energy drinks involved? We are all over 35 and plan to meet after work. I’m off but I just keep thinking someone is gonna get tired and it won’t be me. Lol. Any ideas?

 
Comment by Fawn & Derek
2013-03-05 01:50:14

Iam in the same boat with my husband as well we want to have fun with another chick but find it so hard to find another girl please help???

 
Comment by Jestr
2013-04-21 01:52:25

This is just about exactly what my girlfriend and I are after. Almost everyone commenting on this post has made the other woman or “the infamous 3rd” out to be nothing more than an object to use, or a succubi lesbian who is going to steal your girlfriend away from you. It’s possible for two people to feel enough love to encompass another person in a 3-way monogamous relationship.

 
Comment by Angel Hawk
2013-06-14 06:57:59

I’m living with two Brothers and we’re all happy in our relationship. My Men are both Doms who have always shared.
The key to a good ménage is respecting eachother,being able to share your love and make proper arrangements at the start.
It does work,trust me!

 
Comment by Angel Hawk
2013-06-14 07:11:33

Sorry,but i am in a loving ménage with two Brothers. It DOES work! As long as you agree from the start on the how and what! It does help that they’re Brothers,i agree…but still,it works for us and that’s what matters

 
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