Actually it’s about testosterone levels. Most of the behavior that you think of as “Jerkish” is associated with testosterone. So why is that a good idea?

Well, you’ve got to read Robert Axelrod and do some thinking about sexual selection. Suffice it to say that our social veneers are built on much more primal foundations.

[…] in the bedroom as a sign of dominance. Few women truly enjoy being “slaves”, but many women enjoy feeling that a strong man is overpowering them. The type of man you see on the covers of romance novels. They want to feel like a fragile and […]

Like this was said before. (above)
“They like jerks, yadda yadda. but i find this whole theory about women dating jerks to be completely false. I think a lot of nice men have made this up to make themselves feel better about the fact that they don’t have dates”

I find this false, I believe most women do date jerks. Through highschool into college I was on and off seeing girls and only had about 2 or 3 real relationships. One relationship I had I could say the girl was in total love with me and I wasn’t always nice to her, but the other girls I was very nice too and saw the relationship going no where. The reason I wasn’t so nice with the one girl was because I had a brain tumor and with the medication I became very irritable, but other than that the relationship was very successful until she had to move half way across the united states. I’m a big flirt so it’s not hard for me to start talking to a girl and getting their interest and having a conversation or meeting at another time. I do find myself being always nice to girls and find them always putting me in the “friend zone”, then later on these girls become good friends and them themselves say they like jerks, they don’t always like being pampered. I did find it easy however to talk or hook up with girls that had boyfriends, I noticed the guys they were going out with were all complete jerks, personally meeting them or hearing about them. I felt like I was filling in the void for these girls that their boyfriends werent giving them, being nice. I honestly I think cheating is wrong and I would never do it to my g/f or would want it done to me, but sometimes its hard when someone more attractive then you or someone even out of your league is grabbed by your attention. When opportunity strikes sometimes you have to take it. But in every case that I went out with or hooked up with a girl who had a boyfriend after a month or so they’d always go back to the jerk and never back to me, then later I would find out they broke up because the guy was a total “jerk” and paid her no mind. So what really is this jerk factor we are talking about here, how much is too much when treating a girl bad? A girl once told me you should never let a girl know what your thinking about her, you should always make her want to think what your thinking, so maybe giving the silent treatment might work, or don’t answer your phone when they call, or cancel plans you made, or if they want to do something tell them your busy, even though you might not be and spend the night sitting home in front of your computer. A girl I went out with in highschool did that to me, she’d cancel plans and would say she was busy when I asked her to hang out, and when I couldn’t see her I only wanted her more! But when I went into college I actually went out with her sister, and her sister told me when I actually called her to hang out she would say she was busy or had plans but would actually have nothing to do and would spend the weekends doing nothing.

But now almost done with college I met a girl in one of my classes, she is almost exactly like me but a women. The only thing thats different is shes a model I am not. Whats interesting though is on the day before valentines day our teacher said “Guys have a great valentines day” and hearing her mumble I don’t have a valentine. Later on I did realize she was in another one of my classes and we were talking then later on that night I was talking to her again but online and we had a good conversation, then valentines came up and she asked me to be her valentine. So I said sure thinking nothing of it, and being the nice guy I was I said we’ll now I have to get you something for valentines day, so I got her address and sent her flowers and a teddy bear. A week later in our class she asked me if I was going to the school formal (dance) ,didnt even know the school had one, I told her no and she asked if I was interested in going with her, I did tell her I didn’t know because I promised one of my friends that I would go out with her for her birthday ( this is a girl I became good friends with because I was too nice and couldnt be that “jerk!”) So I actually told the girl I would go to the dance with her, I paid for it, I picked her up we drove there, we had a great time danced and drank, then we ended up at my house and she slept over, nothing happened though except the cuddling. This girls a model and you know what I’m not used to having models sleep over, and I was assuming since shes very pretty that guys probably always hit on her and what not so I would just leave her alone for the night and just cuddle and watch a movie. I drove her home the next day she looked very happy that we went and had a good time, I walked her in and that was that. Now I’ve only seen her at school and it’s like I see her and it’s like nothing ever happened. So maybe I was too nice and now lost all hope, we will see. But from experience, and from what I see from my friends with girlfriends and what I hear from girls it all sums up that ( girl+ jerk = relationship ) and ( girl + man = mistake )

Sorry if the grammars messed up I still have after effects from the surgery and medication.

The toss up between a nice guy and a jerk. One makes a girl actually feel attraction, the jerk, and the other makes her feel attraction a small amount for a short period of time, the nice guy. If you have to choose between both choices that are less than ideal, might as well go for the jerk. The jerk will at least make the girl feel attraction that nice guys can’t create.

Guys think they have to choose between nice or a jerk but there is another way. Respectful and kind but not a human doormat. Most nice guys have low self esteem so they put up with tons of crap. Women can’t respect or feel attracted to someone who doesn’t have enough respect to stand up for themselves.

Another aspect that ‘nice’ guys lack that women love about jerks is being a leader. Never ask a woman “what do you want to do?” Women want a leader, not a follower. Decide where you want to go and just do it. If she has a problem with it she will say so.

Somehow ya’ll seem to write in terms indicating that the single people have no other relationships that are important to them, and are concentrating on just their opposite gender relations. I for one have noted over many years of observation that women are just as much interested in having a trophy guy as guys are interested in having a trophy girl. We are talking here about status amoung their peer group. This really confuses either gender from evaluating objectively. There once was a time in history when the evaluation was very largely based on the perceived acceptability of so-and-so by family. But unfortunately hollywood chose to bash that idea and go with “love” instead of arranged marriages and dating or courtship rituals. The truth is, in our USA culture single people seem to be looking for date and courtship help to lessen the risks of pain that is very prevalent in the many. And who do they look to for the help? why.. their trusted peer group of course! So social standing and status and all that become preiminent factors. Mature thinking and evaluation just isn’t available to help either gender steer a course toward eventual satisfaction everyone hopes for.