After the excitement of the wedding and the planning wind down and the dust settles, this is a question many married men begin to ask. The first major expense of a marriage is the woman’s ring. Men typically end up with a gold band or something else as generic. As for the wedding, most would agree that the celebration focuses on the union of the couple, but that 90% of the excitement and emotion is for the woman to finally get hitched.
Also realize that the tradition of the bride’s father paying for the wedding is not always the case. As is the case in this example, often the wedding is paid for by the couple themselves, entering them into a marriage saddled with a pretty hefty financial debt to begin with.
Of course, on the honeymoon, it is expected that the couple will have amazing and passionate sex - but statistics show that after the honeymoon, men typically end up receiving less and less sex as the marriage progresses. So aside from less sex and a potentially gigantic financial liability if a divorce were to occur - what do men get?
A popular forum recently had a topic with this very question in mind. After spending a great deal of money on his wife’s ring - the man asked for something else in return (a musician’s keyboard) because “they” agreed to go cheap on his ring so hers could be bigger. A simple request he thought. Financially, she still got the more expensive item and at least this could be seen as a valid expense (since he is a musician after all). The enraged response from his wife completely confused him. So he pondered… If women get the wedding, the ring, and all the frills… “What do I get?”
Needless to say there were some very creative responses:
You actually expected something in return? Come on man, you know that engagements/weddings are ALL about the chick.
I see nothing wrong with you asking for that. The whole lopsided thing with engagement rings is a bunch of bs imo
You expected your relationship with a female to be even?
You silly fool!
you fool!
women are only “equal” to men when it suits them!
she sounds pretty selfish to me
If women didn’t like the idea of marriage so much, it probably wouldn’t exist.
The engagement ring is just supposed to prove you have the $$ to support her ass. You don’t get anything in return.
I always give chicks the “diamonds are bullsh*t speech so don’t ever expect one from me” about 3 months into it. Other jewelry yes, but not diamonds.
This should be the 1st of many red flags you’ll recieve on how this b*tch is going to be, I’d personally take the engagment ring back, tell her the wedding is off, go get my keyboard and tell her to f*ck off, that or she can learn to be a more equal partner in the relationship.
F*ck women who think they DESERVE something from a man…you don’t deserve sh*t even if you are giving up the pussy, all you deserve is an equal relationship…equal from everything from emotional to monetary wise.
You should’ve bought her engangement ring and told her to buy her own wedding band…thats what I did
This is the beginning of the end for you if she doesnt feel you deserve anything while you both start out your lives.
hell mine even said I could rent ANY car that I want for our wedding weekend. Still havent decided what I am going to get yet.
It’s not often that the man doesn’t pay for 1/2 or more of the weddings nowadays unless the brides parents are well off…
Get a grip, ya’ll are the tools thinking that men should just give and give and then once you do get married she cuts you off from having sex anyway…f*ck that bullsh*t.
My ring 290 dollars, hers 11K. Love is a bitch.
I sat in the jewerly store for a hour before I could pull the trigger. Jewelry is the biggest waste of money I have ever seen but I couldn’t say no. Believe me, I wanted to.
f*ckin a…if I ever get married again, it’s gonna be a small one and i’m going to spend the money on something like a vacation or cruise, f*ck 20K for a wedding…
Yeah, I’d rather not go into debt when I’m finishing up college and saving to buy a house. God forbid I want to be smart, use logic, and f*cking SAVE money.
You should have asked for a ring a little less then half in value, max.
If she buys that for you, the ring wont mean half as much to her, because she shelled out so much money for you.
Sorry, that is the way it goes, you pay a dickload for a worthless shiny stone, but every time she looks at her hand she remembers she has a blinging ass man that loves her.
Consider it a good investment, increasing the chances by a percentage that you WONT GET F*CKING CHEAT ON or DIVORCED, lol.
% mind you.
But that is what it’s for.
You are asking her to marry you. It’s not like she’s Santa and you’re the little boy. You might be even lucky that she’ll consider letting you to be the only one to f*ck her from now on.
or not…
I am about to get engaged. I am spending ~$15k on her ring. She doesnt know how much I am spending. I made a deal with her, I buy her a ring, she buys me a $6k Breitling watch. Not only did she agree to it, she thinks its a fair deal.
Women tend to adhere to the morals and rules taught to them by society; which are in this case to accept a wedding ring and not really give anything of comparable value in return. It’s just the way things are… women aren’t just going to start giving gifts out of nowhere. It’s worthy to note that when these traditions were cemented into societies in the olden days, the social structure was different: Men worked, women did not. It would’ve been offensive to expect a valuable gift then, the roles of wives were dramatically different. Today, it’s a different ballgame and it’s always hard for the first ones who try and change things, like me; we’ll have to take sh*t from all you guys… but twenty years down the line when mutual gifts of comparable value are commonplace, you’ll thank me
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I feel the same way as a lot of the comments, but agree with a few.
My story:
When my fiancee and I got married, I made it clear I wanted a prenup and she had no problem with it. In addition, I also said I wanted a nice ring with diamonds and sapphires (why can’t a guy have a pimp ring?) and we ended up getting some nice rings that were about the same price.
I have 6 friends though that didn’t have that foresight and they’ve been through a LOT of the emotions in the article. 3 are now divorced, 2 will probably be by year’s end. I don’t think that it’s marriage that doesn’t work - people just aren’t willing to realize that the person they’re with isn’t the right one.
To the person this is about.. if your wife has a problem sharing, she’s the wrong one - that’s what marriage is all about.
I think you’re on to something with that last line. Though a lot of the articles here seem anti-marriage, they’re more social reflections of the current culture of marriage.
In the end, people getting married for the wrong reasons, to the wrong people. We don’t die at 40 anymore - I don’t see why there’s a rush to be married at ages like 19 and 20 anymore. Statistically.. it’s not working.
I never could understand the american “engagement ring thing” Plus in all cultures the case of “must” kills the joy of the day. Wonder how many people do sth because it is “the wedding” thing but honestly they just hate it.
fcukbear , you have the point
if the girl can’t understand why she is getting married she should wait few more years
i would say this is a problem of our society
women are brought up to think they are the center of the world and guys let them belive that
all attention from little age is brought towards little girls, how smart beutifull, fantastic, etc thye are…not much to little boys
and then we have no ability to share , no understaning
and the divorces when women just think they DESERVE everything
they just see that the guy slept with other women, they dont see that theirs behaviour is a main reason why the guy goes this way
face it, most of the guys love to be married and happy, have family
but no one wants to be treated like “do that, do this, clean that, NO! dont do that, where do you have your brain!” and then “i have headache”
I am so sorry for guys who didnt have luck to meet a girl with a simple desire to understand that we are different
good luck guys, and good luck statistic women to grow,
it is such a change when you understand each other
I really agree with you on a lot of your points.
I believe the biggest issue is that in today’s society, while women are being raised in a social world where they can be free, men are still finding themselves constrained by old traditions and behaviors.
As a result, most men are married or committed before they have their “AH HA!” moments regarding what they can do with their lives. Most think men are already free and unhindered, but the truth is that we’re still made to feel guilty when we want to focus on ourselves or our personal growth rather than tithing a large portion of our incomes to the women we love.
Nothing wrong with sharing, but I don’t feel most people truly understand what a life of commitment entails until they’re closer to 30, not 20.
Oh yeah, the age thing is out of the question. I didnt even pay attention to this part as it is so obvious for me. I am always amazed of 20’s marriages. True, I know 30 year old women with kids who are as stupid as teens but statistically being under 25 (30) is a risky move.
And btw Ugg, very nice blog. I like reading about relationships (in wide meaning). Have few books of different authors. Heard of most of the stuff but you still write on a very interesting way. And you hear it from a person who subscribed just 2 blogs before.
My thumbs are up.
Men get 1 thing: a bachelor party!
[…] was the only answer you could come up with, you’re not alone. Many men are wondering what they get from the cost and hassles of a traditional wedding as […]
in today’s materialistic world,where people yearn for branded commodities,expensive wedding rings have become a status symbol.with the result that marriages have becum a sheer show off and a burden on families who cant afford to indulge insuch garish extravagances.