Comments on: Role Reversal: More Men Are Taking Their Wife’s Last Name

By: rhian

rhian — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 11:48:53 +0000

First marriage, husband took my name. This was 23 years ago and most people had never heard of that being done. The marriage lasted almost 2 years- amazing all by itself.

The legal hassles that ensued after the divorce followed me for years. And I wasn’t the one that changed my name! I had to bring birth certificates, marriage license and divorce papers, along with all other proof of my name to EVERYTHING. School registrations for my son, job applications, day care applications, property rentals, application to remarry (different guy- whew)…you name it and i had to provide proof that i didn’t marry my cousin, that i had retained my “so-called” maiden name, as well as an explanation as to why my son had MY name. I’m a woman, so somehow that was inconceivable. (Another topic/rant.)

Would i do it that way again? It wasn’t my choice, since HE chose to take my name when i refused to take his. But i sure as hell would try to talk him out of it. If only to avoid years of confusing already confused bureaucrats. When the Ex was ready to remarry, his bride to be threw a great and terrible tantrum about having his ex-wife’s name. (heh) So he had to quickly go back to HIS “maiden” name. (double heh). His paper trail is worse than mine.

By: Ugg

Ugg — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 19:38:05 +0000

Haha, wow I can really imagine what a pain in the rear that had to be. Not only because of the paperwork, but because of the confusion over it being done in the first place (him taking your name).

Thanks for the comment!

By: Lina

Lina — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:56:00 +0000

Although I admire the gesture Sallinger is making by taking his wife’s name, it makes me think that it is somehow missing the point. Taking a spouse’s name (husband’s or wife’s) still establishes the pattern of one rules over the other, one is more important that the other, and not equal, which is the ultimate goal of a relationship, and possibly what Sallinger is striving for. So as long as someone takes the name of the other, there is no real equality. We’re merely switching the tortill around in the patriarchal scheme, so to speak. The end of patriarchy is not matriarchy, but equality.

By: Empathetic

Empathetic — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 23:06:38 +0000

I have my ex-wife’s last name which happens to be her ex-husband’s.