Husband To Wife On National Radio Show: I Cheat On You Because “American Women Use The Mouth… You Don’t Know How To Use The Mouth”
Mar 17th, 2007 by Ugg
Supersnake of Kiss FM, a nationally syndicated radio show reels an unsuspecting husband into this trap by offering him tickets for a concert. He starts by asking the wife, what the issue is. She explains they’ve been living there for three years and that they got married just before they moved to America (from India).
She goes on to explain it was an arranged marriage and covers a few more details of their move to America. However, she has her suspicions that he may be cheating on her.
Long story short, Raj (the cheating husband), ends up telling Supersnake that he wants the tickets given to Nikki instead of his wife. I’m sure we can all imagine where this goes from here.
Having trouble playing the file? **Click here to download the mp3 file**
The best comment comes in around 5 minutes in. In case you can’t load the audio file below, I’ve taken the liberty to quote some of the ensuring drama that takes place. It gets busy so the best my quick fingers can do is paraphrase:
5 minutes into the audio clip:
Raj: Why don’t we make this out to Nykki, that’s N-Y-K-K-I.
Supersnake: OK..
Raj: And there’s a message I can leave?
Raj: Ok let me think.
Raj: Dear Nykki, thank you for showing me the ways of American love. You are my favorite BOODAH call.
*some discussion over what a BOODAH call is (he means booty call but the accent makes it hard to understand)*
*Jasmine chimes in*
Jasmine: WHO THE HELL IS NYKKI??
Raj: Hello?
Jasmine: WHO THE HELL IS NYKKI??
Raj: Who is this?
*more hilarious discussion*
Raj: What is going on? Hello sir? Are you still here?
Jasmine: Boodah call? Who do you think this is, do you recognize my voice?
*more hilarious discussion*
Jasmine: Boodah call? You think that’s clever? You think that’s fun?
Raj: There is someone on the phone that sounds like my wife.. What is the meaning of this?
*more discussion between Jasmine and Raj*
*they both settle down and Raj explains a bit more*
Raj: Nykki is a friend of mine..
Jasmine: Is Nykki a stripper or something?
Raj: You want to know the truth, yes? You don’t know the ways of Ameri… American women, they use the mouth.. You don’t use the mouth. You do not know how to use the mouth.
Raj: We come from India OK? And the Indian don’t use the mouth and the American girls use the mouth. You refuse to use the mouth and she will do anything I ask her to.
*Jasmine goes on about how HE should be giving ‘the mouth’*
While this shouldn’t be funny, it definitely gives some perspective on the disconnect that happens when a marriage is arranged by the family rather than happening through the course of love. Having worked closely with Indian citizens in other situations, I know firsthand how the cultures are more strict, if you will, especially concerning sexual freedoms.
I never condone or encourage cheating, but it’s hard not to find some humor in all of this. The accents of both Raj and Jasmine only add to the humor.
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He’s saying “Buddha call.” It’s a pun on “booty call” - he said “Buddha” because he is Buddhist, since he’s Indian. Probably a joke between him and Nykki.
Interesting… due to the accent, I just figured it as a mispronunciation?
this is the most racist fake thing I’ve ever heard. whoever made this should be ashamed of themselves. the dude’s accent is so fake. it’s embarrassing.
All indians are not Buddists!! So stop using your american brain (rather lack of it)!!
Poor guy. The women got the point. To get you have to give. As long as he doesnt understand it he will have to change his Nykkis bit often.
wow. this was so obviously faked. “you are on the periodical?” “you are on the stupid?” “home dogs?” so lame.
this was total fake, the guys accent was so stupid almost like Apu speaking in The Simpsons and trust me nobody in India has a accent like that.
and the girl’s accent is too american for somebody who has been in the US for only 3 years.
Yeah, I agree, it was totally faked. The woman’s accent especially was off.
And I RESENT the judgmental position of the writer of this article on arranged marriages. My parents have been in an arranged marriage for over 25 years and they’re the happiest couple I’ve seen. There are a few facts you should know:
1. FIFTY PERCENT of American marriages end in divorce. And these are your hallowed “love marriages?” Do you want to know the divorce rate in India? ONE percent. That’s right, about 11 in 1000 people get divorced. Now I’ll concede that this data hides some facts, such as the increased stigma associated with divorce in India and the age distribution of divorcees, but those factors don’t account for everything. Couples in India really try to make it work because they know their marriage is based on something more than fleeting attraction.
2. Arranged marriage doesn’t mean what it used to. It doesn’t mean anymore that you’re marrying some person you’ve never seen before and completely against your will. The choice of the newlyweds enters very heavily into it - the parents do the searching, that’s all. And what’s so terrible about that? Parents are wise. They know what they’re doing.
3. Arranged marriage isn’t as horrible as it’s made out to be, not by a long shot. My parents are a heck of a lot happier than a lot of American couples I’ve seen. The problem with basing a marriage on love is that you begin to believe there’s “one true person” for you, so if it doesn’t “work out” you’re quick to let it go instead of trying your hardest to make it work. Marriage is a pragmatic arrangement, always has been. There’s love, but denying the existence of other factors is naive and ends in disappointment.
Fake or not, it was funny. For those commenting that the accents sound fake. I don’t thinks so, I feel the reason for the guy’s poor accent is that he probably hails from a smaller town from India (i.e. someplace other than Mumbai, Bangalore, New Delhi). I have met Indian guys working in USA with accents much worse than this guy’s.
As far as the girl is concerned I don’t see any “American” touch to her accent. This is what I’d expect to hear from a girl brought up in an educated family and who had exposure to the language since childhood. Both are 100% Indian accents.
(coming from a pilot, who is used to people having various accents while communicating with traffic controller)
I agree, I still think it’s real. Living in Arizona and having heard it on the air, the truth is that the DJs doing it are unlikely to be coordinated to pull a stunt like this off. They’re always messing up on that show.
The male voice you are hearing is that of a professional comedian and voiceover talent who also wrote the bit. He opens frequently for Russell Peters - Dan Nainan, Indian Comedian. You can find out more about him at www.nainan.com.