I Think My Wife Is Cheating On Me: Why Men Are Never Published In Dear AbbyThis is a pretty accurate portrayal of a man in a relationship. We often read stories of women cheating because they are lonely or feel neglected. After all, it is the man’s role to make the money and supply the love: give, give give. In return, when a woman feels she isn’t receiving enough love or enough financial support, it validates her reasons for looking elsewhere.

As a result, men are taught at a young age to work hard and succeed. Not necessarily in love, but in work. To get that degree, get that management position, get that sale or that client. Men are taught to focus on the financial and business end of life and that love will fall in there somewhere. Truth is that not many men truly understand what they want or how to get it because they’re focused on the more important things – in this case… well, read on:

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

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41 Comments

Comment by gregf
2007-03-15 13:36:49

lmfao

 
Comment by pete
2007-03-15 13:52:49

i’d remove the valve cover from your pre-quote blog as it spoils the surprise a bit. how about a simple: “read on.”

Comment by Ugg
2007-03-15 14:25:57

Good idea, I just re-read and you make a good point – modified :)

 
 
Comment by LeroyInAJar
2007-03-15 14:05:41

Brilliant! You should send this to Dear Abby herself if you haven’t already.

 
Comment by Steve
2007-03-15 14:54:45

Brilliant!!! LMFAO

 
2007-03-15 15:07:31

[…] on AskUgg! These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web […]

 
Comment by Vlad
2007-03-15 15:24:44

You rock!

 
Comment by J
2007-03-15 16:35:26

Haha. That made my day!

 
Comment by Katrineholm Review
2007-03-15 17:22:57

Return both bike and wife for a tune-up. Sorry, no need for the wife to get a tune-up. She’s already getting fuel injections.

 
Comment by best of plagarism
2007-03-15 17:42:15

Just admit you read best of craigslist…..

Comment by Ugg
2007-03-15 21:09:36

Haha, there is some GOOD stuff there :)

I believe this was also sent in from there (I get a lot of reader emails that may have been posted elsewhere as you noted):

http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/09/vasectomy-400-the-speechless-look-on-her-face-priceless/

 
 
2007-03-15 17:45:44

[…] [link][more] [via: reddit.com: newest submissions | article link] […]

 
 
Comment by Sam
2007-03-15 18:24:21

Awesome!

 
Comment by John Engler
2007-03-15 18:58:50

awesome…. lmfao.

 
Comment by Hollywoodcole
2007-03-15 20:28:55

ROFL….Thx for that!

 
Comment by dfjkldfj
2007-03-15 20:56:08

Google +”Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?” and you’ll see that many sites mention this joke.

 
Comment by 3stripe
2007-03-16 01:41:22

Hahahahah, hilarious!

 
Comment by rolandog
2007-03-16 01:44:55

Awesome joke… first time I read it… so I ROTFLOLed SRSLY…

 
2007-03-16 04:36:32

[…] by FraudWasteAbuse on March 16th, 2007 I read this here and I thought I would share it: Dear Abby,   I’ve never written to you before, but I really […]

 
2007-03-16 07:02:07

[…] Why men are never published in Dear Abby. Hilarious! […]

 
2007-03-16 15:19:12

[…] I Think My Wife Is Cheating On Me: Why Men Are Never Published In Dear Abby pffffthahaha (tags: humor relationships sex) […]

 
2007-04-16 21:37:30

[…] AskUgg! – Cheating, Relationships, Dating, Sex, Intimacy, Infidelity, It’s all here! » Blog Archi… (tags: funny humor wife marriage cheating covers relationships sex blogs) steve on March 16th, 2007 | Filed under Uncategorized | […]

 
Comment by ks
2007-05-12 22:14:23

my husband thinks i cheated on him and i never did. he wants me to take a poly test. we have 2 kids and if i fail (which i can’t, because i never cheated) he wants me to give up all rights to money, kids everything etc… please give me some advise..

Comment by Ugg
2007-07-19 09:16:22

Well sounds like you have nothing to worry about with the poly. Although I’d question which state would allow this to happen without some sort of circumstance – women typically get the most power in these situations unless there’s other circumstances involved…

In either case, I’d suggest getting legal counsel before the poly.

 
 
2007-05-20 00:10:34

[…] 6. AskUgg! – I Think My Wife Is Cheating On Me: Why Men Are Never Published In Dear Abby […]

 
Comment by feelingflirty
2007-07-19 00:00:35

If your partner cheats on you there is every chance that he (she) will do it again so you must be prepared. Don’t let it eat at you but don’t fall about in a heap if it happens. If you’ve decided the relationship is worth pursuing, go for it with all your heart.

Comment by Ugg
2007-07-19 09:15:03

That’s always been a suggestion of mine when the question comes up as well. You can live in ignorance, but sometimes logic needs to trump emotion and you need to realize that unless your lover tripped, fell, and accidentally had sex with another person.. there was likely a reason for it and once that step is taken, the relationship is already on extremely shaky ground.

 
 
Comment by hiutopor
2007-09-17 16:52:29

Hi all!

Very interesting information! Thanks!

G’night

 
Comment by roy
2007-12-09 19:28:30

that made my night needed something like that ty

 
Comment by George
2008-06-12 07:22:33

I try to stay positive, but at times you still have to just look into things. Women are much better at covering up things than men. Instead of lying they avoid the question. I believe you should get a copy of her cell phone bill and then go from there. I hope you are wrong. But you can’t be afraid to find out.

Comment by dee
2009-05-24 00:04:53

i can look up cell phone records but it does not show text number. She seems to have two personalities and me and the kids dont know what to do.

 
 
Comment by Jim
2008-06-22 03:55:16

I found this page through a Google search for “cheating wife” because I just caught mine cheating. THANK YOU! This was the first good laugh I have had since I discovered.

PS George, it was a joke. You response was almost as funny.

 
Comment by Archie
2009-02-13 11:04:34

People: IT WAS A JOKE. Stop giving sound advice. LOL

 
Comment by Christopher Chew
2009-04-13 06:46:34

I have question, I hope you folks can help?

 
Comment by dee
2009-05-23 23:59:59

what would you do if your wife claims to just be talking as friends but you read a text on her phone were he ask for more

 
Comment by alex
2009-07-06 03:22:47

Love!… This feeling is the strongest among all others, but maybe this is why it is really hard to find! Unfortunately not all people are blessed with this amazing feeling and we are ready to do our best to experience this lightness and complete happiness

 
Comment by Charity Lewis
2010-08-03 08:07:33

LMAO! that’s hillarious, sharing it with my buddies on facebook right now.

 
Comment by Guyman
2011-07-11 12:19:18

wait until he gets back from a long ride on his hog and then polish the hell out of the chrome. Repeat as necessary, He’ll love you forever, you can cheat, or not, as much as you want.

 
Comment by Lee J. Chandler
2011-11-10 16:11:47

this is why I’m glad I never remarried.

 
Comment by Michael
2012-02-24 08:19:02

Stumbled upon this whilst searching ‘my wife is cheating on me’ on Google as I have just recently discovered that my wife of 11 years has been cheating on me.Thanks for a much needed laugh though!

 

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