For women, marriage to a man who makes more (which is the majority of cases), depending on the states, is the best financial move she can make. In California, women can even sue for money you haven’t even MADE yet.

I’m not anti-marriage. You just have to understand that the definition of “marriage” has changed drastically in the last 50 years. What used to be a union of two people for love, now has all sorts of legal and financial binds strapped to it.

If you have another suggestion that would result in less divorces and pointless marriages, feel free to suggest it If I knew all the answers, I’d have a talk show!

I know many folks would balk at this idea, but I think in today’s world it’s actually one of the healthiest ways to look at it. Worse comes to worse, if after a long while of “imaginary marriage”, if you then decide you’re still so in love you want to make it “legal”, there’s no big change in life, just in “status”.

I am, alas, married. I like your statement that you’re not anti-marriage but anti-divorce, it shows thoughtfulness. However, let me go on the record as saying I have to say I’m anti-marriage, even. It is the only real mistake I’ve ever made in life. And it’s very hard to undo.

There’s a GREAT article, well researched, on the misery that awaits men in marriage:

http://www.martynemko.com/articles/men-as-beasts-burden_id1228

Before her, I had a fiance who was faithful, but so lazy that she let herself not only get fat, but she lost any and all interest in me or the relationship unless I was doing something for her. Fixing her computer, helping her with schoolwork (which she constantly tried to get me to do for her), etc. That one ended because I finally got tired of playing Daddy to a spoiled little princess.

Before her there was another faithful one who went from being a beautiful woman to unbearably large in three short years… sorry, ladies, but we all have our ranges of what we can deal with, and FAT is not part of mine. I expect a woman I am going to invest in for the rest of her life to keep herself healthy.

And before her, there was the psycho who also cheated with a string of different guys behind my back. Interestingly enough, all four pushed for marriage around the one and two year marks, and didn’t really show their true colors until the second or third years.

What this has made me realize is… not only is “legal” marriage insane (what does law have to do with love?), but there is nothing but loss for the man, and on top of that… I also concluded… I don’t want an American woman! All of them I have dated or gotten involved with have been cheaters, liars, or lazy and fat. And they were all convinced they had the right to be.

Sure thing. I’m going to some other country, where women aren’t (quite so) crazy.

Thanks, Sex In The City.

I would never have children unless I am married because when all is said and done it is the woman who is usually gets stuck with the children. To say you should try having children before marriage seems like a selfish comment that you would think a person who only cares about himself would say. Yes, divorce is messy and is not a fun event for anyone, but as you said children deserve to grow up in a stable home. I do not think that growing up in a home where the father figure can just up and leave as he please is very stable. I do agree just because someone gets pregnant is not a reason to get married but just a reminder even if things do not work out someone will still have to pay child support so I hate to tell you this that someone will still lose money for their earnings and future earnings.

Also I know plenty of men who let themselves go and get grossly over weight while their wives are still in shape, I guess from what you are saying they should of never married the person they loved because as people get older their metabolism slows down and they gain weight and their appearance changes. I am in alot better shape then my boy friend but I still love him anyways. He has gained about 25lbs since we began dating and I am still a size 0 and weigh 110lbs which is about 20lbs lower then the target weight for someone my height.

How is it that men seem to think they need sex more then women do, come on give me a break women need/want it just as much as men do and they also get bored with their partners just as often. If men are so bored with their sex lives just think about how bored their significant other is with the sex. Their is also an increasing number of women who are saying the are dissatisfied with the sex in their relationship and is leading to more and more women being unfaithful. The fact is that sex is human nature and just because in past decades it was unacceptable for women to express dissatisfaction with sex between their significant other, does not mean women have not been feeling the same way as men do about their sex lives.

God I feel like you are from the 1920s when most women stayed at home while the men provided for their families but now most women work, my mother did and still does she made sacrifices in her career so my dad could get his PhD. My current boyfriend and I have been dating for 2yrs and I am the one who is not wanting to rush things and is not ready to get married because I am in my second year of medical school and do not know where I will want to go for my residency, while he is an working as an entry level CPA. So in the long run I will most likely make more money then he will which is okay with me. In my opinion how much someone makes should not be a deciding factor for marriage. I also think if you love someone and want to get married but require a prenuptial agree meant is just acknowledging the fact that you know the relationship will not work and will end in divorce, so you probably should not get married to begin with. Before him I dated a guy who actually wanted to be the provider and talked to me about marriage, I ended the relationship because he expressed how if we did get married and have kids he would want me to be a stay at home mom and there was no way in hell I would ever want to stay at home all day being bored out of my mind. I want to work because I want to feel like I am doing something important with my life and be able to support myself. I do not want to have to worry that if I get married and it ends in divorce I will be S**T out of luck.

I am NOT one of those bitter feminist who feel that I have to prove that I am just as good at everything a man is because the fact is I am not. Everyone is different with different strengths. There are many things people can do better than me but I can also do somethings better than other individuals. I just want to point out how naive you were sounding and to remind you it is the 21st century. A lot of women can support themselves and that women have just as much to lose by getting married.

You’re so full of shit. To this day, I have seen 23 divorces since my birth and each one ends the same way. The guy may want the kids, but he won’t get them! Why? Because the state thinks that the kids will be raised better if they’re with the mother. And if you feel that you’ll just get “stuck” with the kids, then fuck you lady! You don’t need kids anyways. After all, you run the risk of being “stuck” with a burden! Congrats by the way on sounding like a total bitch.

What do women have to lose from a divorce? There are so many “factors” in divorces that really don’t mean shit anyways. The state always sees in favor of the woman because they view her as the weaker and less capable sex. Don’t believe me? Well you’re lying to yourself then. Let’s start with the kid factor. Not only do the women get the children because “it’s better for them,” but they get child support as well. Even if the woman is completely capable of raising the children on her own, like a doctor for instance, she will still get child support. Why? Because she’s a WOMAN. Go ahead and say “the men are obligated to help support their children.” But what about the women? Are those not OBLIGATED? My older brother paid child support to his ex wife for their daughter until he got custody of her. Child support is supposed to be paid each month until the child is 18. His daughter is only 13 and he’s paid child support since she was 3.

Now that he has custody of her, her mother isn’t being forced to pay child support. Why? The state says that she doesn’t have to pay it. I want to know why. Why is it that she is NOT OBLIGATED to provide for her FLESH AND BLOOD?

Now what about the pre-nup? Even if you sign one and she doesn’t get your money, she’s gonna take all she can. Women are much more brutal than men when it comes to stuff like this. Why? I believe it’s because men have more honor and women just want to spite them any way they can. The woman is gonna take whatever she can get, wether she wants it or not. It’s true, really. Like I said, I’ve seen 23 divorces. The court will grant her to good vehicle (the one HE paid for), the house (the one HE paid for), she’ll get HIS family heirlooms and the precious things that his mother gave to him before she passed away and the furniture (that HE probably paid for).

So what is it that she loses? Women shun divorced men because they’re going out and partying instead of feeling sorry for themselves. If the woman hadn’t of been such a bitch and let the man take the kids, she’d be at that same bar gettin’ hit on every five minutes because she took that ring off and I bet she won’t even mention her kids until she’s been with the guy four or five times.

I’m short on time or I’d keep ranting. Bye!