My readers should understand, first and foremost, that I am NOT a fan of cheating. I don’t think it’s healthy. I don’t recommend it. And I think that divorce is a better option if you’re having temptations you can’t hold back or do not feel appreciated and able to change how you feel.

That said, a reader who claims to have been “the other guy” dozens of times, sent over some advice for women on how to have a successful affair. He mentioned that a few of his girlfriends have been busted by their boyfriends because of not following the advice below.

Of course, I’d also point out not to say anything if you do cheat - lest someone find you out and out you to the world…

1. Know what you need before even deciding who the affair is going to be with

• If your needs are primarily sexual, you may need a different partner than if they are mostly emotional. It is even more important to decide if the affair is going to cause a divorce or a reunion with your spouse. Once you know what you want, find the guy that is going to fulfill those needs and take your time in deciding who that is.

2. Always pick a guy who has more to lose than you

• Unless you are looking to leave your husband, or unless you find a serial other guy like I am, always pick a guy who has more to lose than you do by being discovered. That hot single guy may end up a nightmare down the road.

3. Bodybuilders of any age usually make a bad choice of partners

• Bodybuilders of any age usually make a bad choice of partners. They are using their testosterone to build mass and they are often too focused on themselves to do you much good in the ego department. Guys that are fat are also usually lousy choices. Stamina and strength can be important however.

4. Pick a guy whose job allows him freedom

• Try to pick a guy whose job allows him freedom. Someone who travels overnight is often ideal because he may not need to explain his whereabouts to either his wife or his boss. Always pick a guy who is more financially secure than you are or you will be picking up costs or loaning him money.

5. Fight the guilt before it begins

• Guilt is often why people get caught. Leaving your copy of the Holiday Inn Express key in your purse can be a disaster when you were suppose to be at the Doctor’s office all day.

6. Put the sex in perspective

• If you hook up with the right guy he may be very, very good, and that will be a very good thing for you, but keep in mind what your goals really are. If you need and want some good hot sex where you climax a dozen times in four or five hours and you find it that is great, but, is it worth giving up your marriage for? I have friends I see once or twice a week and have for over ten years but they are grounded enough they stay married. Their husband gets to enjoy their improved disposition and glow and many times my friends find him a better husband without him knowing all the work I put into helping them feel better about themselves, and having the relief they need.

7. Pay every affair related expense in cash

• Unless it has to show up on an expense account. Get a separate very small cell phone that is either prepaid, or where you made a big enough cash deposit that no bill ever comes to your home. Set it on vibrate and stash it on your body. Make sure the number is OK to show up on your other man’s bill if you are going to call his cell phone. I have one currently that has the same local number prefix as my friend’s does, and she lives in a small town over 100 miles away. Cell companies will do whatever you ask to get your money.

8. Always have an extra change of underwear

• Carry a change of panties, that you can toss out the window if you need to, or use and discard the other ones if you can’t get them washed before he has a chance to encounter them. Always take a shower afterwards. You will smell like sex and so will the panties you had on before they came off. Deodorant, and toothpaste and toothbrush are musts. Little hairs can stick in your teeth where others will notice them and you might not. The same goes for your guy. Buy your husband the same cologne for his birthday that your other guy uses.

Tags: cheating, wife, busted, affair, husband, marriage, divorce, sex