I’ve always been fascinated with cheating. I personally, think that if you want to cheat, you need to end the relationship first. But others feel more ‘trapped’ in a relationship. Perhaps by marital or family obligations. The cheating is one thing, but the reasoning and psychology behind the motivation for the cheating is another entirely. Here are a few stories submitted by readers that I found particularly interesting.

Story #1 – She Was Paying For Sex

My wife and I were married for 23 years. Within six months she went from knowing nothing of the computer to becoming completely obsessed with the Internet. I guess I was too trusting. She sent gifts to new “friends”, staying on the Internet for 6 to 8 hours at a time, rarely spending time with my two sons and I. It turned out she was paying for sex.

She left me and my sons but only after doing as much damage as possible – such as making outrageous remarks to my sons, family members, etc. This experience has been absolutely devastating. I haven’t been back to work in 15 months. I’m raising my sons with pride. As a family we’re okay but I haven’t yet found a way to regain my own spirit.

Story #2 – “There Is No Trust In The Relationship”

We got a computer about 16-18 months ago and then the internet. One of my wive’s friends hooked her up to Instant Messaging. I didn’t think much of it until she was up half the night chatting away. Then she put a Password on the IM application to, “prevent misuse by the kids”, but she would not tell me the password because she thought I would be “invading her privacy”.

Then one day, I stumbled across her stored email and found somewhere she talked to a friend about an IM buddy who told her he loved her. She then asked her friend not to tell me anything. My suspicions were aroused when I couldn’t find the phone bill, but it had been paid. I looked for it and found it hidden in the closet. It had 3 calls to another country on it. Then I noted missing floppy disks, found those in the same place, and 1 actually had a webcam picture of some guys erect penis on it.

I confronted her with the evidence, asked her if she “cybered” and she vehemently denied it. Nothing was resolved, and then I found an image on the computer of her naked. She had taken the picture of herself with a Polaroid camera. She sees nothing wrong with what she has done and seems furious that I have “invaded her privacy” and that I am “trying to control her” She has refused to take counseling, but I chose to and learned how not to let my emotions rule my thoughts and actions. We are still together, but there is no trust in the relationship and it is only for economic reasons that we remain together.

Story #3 – Instant Messaging Caused Her To Cheat

I am a husband who loves his wife and family very much. I am responsible for introducing my wife to IM’ing and I regret it to this very day. Although I believe the program to have it’s good points, there are jerks out there who will use these programs for their own selfish reasons. I have been married 10 years and for the past year my wife has been in contact with two of these jerks.

I have a job that requires long hours away from home and my wife doesn’t work. This gives her the opportunity to engage in possible internet infidelity. I have made every effort to get her to stop but I fear she is too far gone now. We have have our problems as most marriages do, but I have never thought once of cheating on my wife, although the opportunity for me to do so was always there.

I feel that maybe I was imagining this, but as I get more information on this matter, I believe my suspicions are well-founded. She left me and took the children with her in the middle of September. We communicate but she is cold to me and distant most of the time. I warn husbands and boyfriends who value their relationship to be aware if this is happening to you! If you value your relationship, you have to do all you can to stop this.

Story #4 – I Ended Their Friendship, But She Was Still Cheating

My wife had been cheating on me for almost two months. He started off as a friend but they would talk after I went to sleep and eventually started doing sexual things. It got to where they were talking and emailing one another without my knowledge. I caught them cheating and ended the friendship immediately. So we began to repair our relationship and all seemed to go well. Then I had a gut feeling that things were still not right. I began to try and figure out her passwords to see if they still had something going on.

Well, I got into her email. I found out that they never missed a beat and they were still talking. They even went so far as to start meeting somewhere and planning it. I called her work and asked her what she had planned after her dentist appointment the next day and she asked me what I meant and I replied with where their favorite spot is that they like to meet. She was very surprised and she replied, “Please don’t do anything, I will be home soon”. Well, we have been able to discuss it and we still are going to try and work it out and so far things seem to be going well. I really love her…

Personally, I don’t ever believe cheaters “stop”. Cheating itself may stop for a while, but unless the couple is totally oblivious to their own feelings and it truly was just a “spur of the moment” ordeal, the scars and effects of the scandal never heal. Plausible Deniability is no excuse either.

Once a cheater, always a cheater? I believe so. It’s not that you’re a bad person for cheating. Well, you may be actually.. But the truth is that you just have no business in a relationship. Perhaps you need to quit being a Moron and start being more like The Ambitious Man.

What do you think?

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2007-03-15 11:03:28

[…] is a pretty accurate portrayal of a man in a relationship. We often read stories of women cheating because they are lonely or feel neglected. After all, it is the man’s role to make the money […]

Comment by peter
2007-03-15 13:27:16

The problem with all of these is that none of these victims have the self-esteem and strength to remove themselves from the person completely, either as punishment or permanently. This serves two purposes- Without an emotional support, an affair quickly takes on a desperation aspect that will likely cause it to collapse. Also, the person is taught that they cannot enjoy the full support of more than 1 person without hurting someone else.

Comment by Jesse
2007-03-15 21:38:52

I don’t necessarily believe that once you’re a cheater, you’re always a cheater.

I myself am guilty of infidelity to my last girlfriend. she stayed with me however for another 10 months (we had been going out for about 2 months when she found out), and I cut all contact with the other girl. I still wasn’t completely faithful to her throughout the entire relationship, though. I never intimately cheated on her again, but still.

and when she dumped me… damn did that hurt. had me crying for a year. everything I did wrong, pretty much dictates what I know I will do in future relationships. still… what I wouldn’t give just to talk to her…

2007-04-05 10:17:31

[…] wife that goes above and beyond even the worst most of us have heard. We’ve all heard tales of cheating wives and stories about wives cheating on their husbands, but a case this severe is highly unusual to say the […]

2008-02-19 12:35:11

[…] this blog does one thing, it shows that people who aren’t getting “it” at home – go elsewhere. Whether you’re a man or a woman. Whether “it” is sexual or emotional. Getting […]

Comment by dirk
2009-02-02 22:56:52

Yeh I just found out my wife of 6 yrs and 18 yrs together cheated on me for the last 10 months and now she thinks she loves him………….

Comment by mello...
2009-02-04 03:34:30

this is normal… move on…. find love in life not just one person. How anyone can stay after finding out is beyond me… that is a hurt that will not heal.

Comment by Bolu
2009-05-08 06:01:46

I believe strongly that once a cheater, always a cheater. The internal drive will always be there. Suppress it, yeah, but only for a while and it shall rare its ugly head other conditions being ripe. Its just as the saying goes,
‘a leopard can never take off its spots”. Again i believe strongly in the laws of retributive justice (or karma if you like). If you truly have never cheated (or hurt someone emotionally so as to have the effect that cheating has on the cheated), then you really have nothing to fear from being cheated on. If however you feel stuck in a relationship where your spouse or bf or gf cheats, and you are unhappy and still attached, then that has go to be karmaic punishment. I’d say one of the worst there is.

Comment by pete
2010-04-17 13:10:26

When someone cheats on you. Leave them. its not heartless. its not because ive been hurt. if you forgive someone it translates to it was ok. then she wonders what else she can get away with. sge will turn u into a tool. i love psychology. maybe one day we can figure out women and their ways.

Comment by squiggles
2010-12-11 01:52:04

The role to make money is neither man or woman’s but to whoever chooses to do so. That’s a very sexist remark.

Comment by Brian
2011-03-18 18:51:54

I believe the reason people have extramarital relationships is because they want to; no one has control over what they want (emotionally), only what they do. And the reason they cheat is because their spouse can’t accept that their partner is freely doing what they want to do. And that, imho, is the primary reason they divorce. In the instances above I don’t believe the situations caused the divorce, the “cheating” was a symptom of something neither partner, apparently, deemed important enough to address, let alone deal with, and that, i’m totally convinced, is a symptom of a lack of awareness/maturity. The problem is either seemingly impossible for immature adults to deal with or simple for highly mature adults (primarily future) to deal with. I speak from 62 years of excruciating/exhilarating experiences. Hint: EGO out of control!!

Comment by Joy Taney Vicencio
2011-03-22 07:21:47

I cheated on my husband and i dont feel guilty because i am lonely i know his working for us his family to find income to buy all my needs but i found someone who can give more than i want, money, jewelry,out of town trips, night clubing, and most is exotic sex ever in my life.

Comment by Joy Taney Vicencio
2011-03-22 07:25:17

I cheated on my husband but i am not guilty because i found someday who can give me more what i need money and sex

Comment by taylor shaon
2011-04-15 08:59:15

ahh man that sucks im so sorry to hear that.:(

Comment by taylor shaon
2011-04-15 09:00:46

dirk im so sorry to hear that that really is putter (weird awkward, BAD)

Comment by Mark
2011-07-01 06:19:41

With all the emotions flying around here about cheating and how it affects the people being cheated on, is that all you can say?

Comment by Mac
2011-12-26 07:41:04

Women trade sex for love. They will settle for a good counterfeit, but they are seeking love.
Men want love, too, but will settle for sex. A major part of sex to a man is emptying his seminal vesicles and exercising his prostate. As has been said, to a man bad sex is still pretty good (assuming he can get off in her).
But if you can’t at least fake love then your woman just may start looking elsewhere. Making the effort to fake love means you care at least a little.

Comment by sam
2012-04-13 13:20:48

you are a waste, at least he is giving you those things, what are you giving him?

Comment by Dan
2012-05-11 10:08:34

I will never get married! Not that I don’t won’t to, but with all the heartless women in the world, I don’t trust anyone. Women who cheat, have ruined any chance of me getting married. I will most likely die a sad, lonely man, because women like this have destroyed my heart and my trust.

Comment by Will
2012-06-20 23:23:05

Same goes with me Dan, we live in a shit shit world. I won’t deny that there are good and faithful women out there but the amount of distasteful women outnumber them by many. I’ve given up on long-term relationships/marriage long time ago and started focusing on myself and family+friends. Surprisingly, since I’m free from all this relationship stress, my life is actually very fulfilling. I have a really high paying job and in my free time I go to the gym and play my instruments. I urge you all to leave your cheating wives/girlfriends, it is not worth all the sorrow and pain…it’s true once a cheater….always a disgusting cheater.

2012-07-19 22:13:52

My wife cheated on me with one of her little brothers `friends. It was a blessing in disguise. Im free to continue my life with and their both alcoholics. lol.

Comment by Brad
2012-08-15 15:48:42

Bob Humber has no idea how much of a whore his girlfriend Valerie Thomas is.. She pretends to love him and even had him change his job and move in with her. She continues to have sex with at least two other men. One she claimes is the love of her life, but wont commit to him, and the other is just for “great sex” as she says. Valerie is allways commenting about bobs small penis and how it never makes her cum.. How pathetic he is in bed. Its like kissing your brother she claims. So she looks for sex with other men. Valerie thomas is a whore, plain and simple. The worst thing is that she claims she is doing nothing wrong. Watch out Bobby Humber, your girlfriend valerie thomas is a whore!!

Comment by Carlos
2012-09-28 18:33:34

I was married to valerie thomas for 11 yrs and caught her cheating on me.. With more than one man. Then cheated on both her other “loves”. Bob humber, your in big trouble with this slut. Get out before she cheats again on you and you loose everything

Comment by confused
2012-12-17 12:06:18

hey there i walked in on my mother cheating on my dad while my dad was in the hospital
It was about 3 yrs ago my dad had a heart attack he was rushed too the hospital as we called my mom she wasnot answeringany calls so the next day as i was sleeping at 2am i hear my mom walk into the door and i hear this the guys voice what i heard next shokced me my mom told this man take ur paints off im goona suck ur cock like it owes me money ha ha ha i walk up staris and c my mom on her kness giveing this guy a very fast bj i was in shock i saw this guy treat my mother like a whore calling her the worst names in the book like slut whore bitc th i was so hurt at around 5 am when i woak up my mom was ackting like nuttin happend i confronted her she just walked away she got pregant from this guy and now shes flonting this kid infront of my dad y wud ppl do this

Comment by jonboy
2013-01-23 10:23:01

Valerie Thomas is a huge whore. I meet her on line on oceans of people. After she pretended to be single. what a slut

Comment by Human
2014-05-25 05:56:37

A real Swine


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