I came across an interesting article today that discussed how Korean men are now going to Vietnam to find the wives they are unable to find in their home country.

Thus, Mr. Kim, a 39-year-old auto parts worker from a suburb of Seoul, began the mildly chaotic, two-hour process of choosing a spouse. In a day or two, if his five-day marriage tour went according to plan, he would be wed and enjoying his honeymoon at the famed Perfume Pagoda on the Huong Tich Mountain southwest of here.

More and more South Korean men are finding wives outside of South Korea, where a surplus of bachelors, a lack of marriageable Korean partners and the rising social status of women have combined to shrink the domestic market for the marriage-minded male. Bachelors in China, India and other Asian nations, where the traditional preference for sons has created a disproportionate number of men now fighting over a smaller pool of women, are facing the same problem.

This kind of reminds me of the Northern Arizona Fundamentalist Mormon group that kicked out the ‘Lost Boys’ or the boys that would be competition for the older men looking to take on the young teenage girls as additional wives. Seems that the need to have a son has created a similar problem where the supply of women becomes uncomfortably small.

This all seems so strange, but when you examine the rituals that take place here in America, we also go through these very same hoops. Just in slightly less obvious fashions. Women size up the men they’re talking to by examining the car they drive, job they have, social status, and looks. Men size up the women by their looks and physical comfort levels.

After an initial setback — his first three choices found various reasons to decline his offer — Mr. Kim narrowed his field to a 22-year-old college student and an 18-year-old high school graduate.

“What’s your personality like?” Mr. Kim asked the college student.

“I’m an extrovert,” she said.

The 18-year-old asked why he wanted to marry a Vietnamese woman.

“I have two colleagues who married Vietnamese women,” he said, adding, “The women seem devoted and family-oriented.”

One Korean broker said the 22-year-old, who seemed bright and assertive, would adapt well to South Korea. Another suggested flipping a coin.

“Well, since I’m quiet, I’ll choose the extrovert,” Mr. Kim said finally, adding quickly, “Is it O.K. if I hold her hand now?”

She went over to sit next to him, though neither dared to hold hands. She spelled out her name in her left palm: Vien. Her name was To Thi Vien.

It’s like a first date… except she’ll be your wife soon. Screw not test driving the car before buying… this guy went and bought straight off the internet!

This next quote was of much interest to me personally. In America, if you fall into the categories these men do, you simply move down to a fatter or uglier wife. After all, men want the hottest woman they can afford. Women want the richest guy their looks will allow them to get. Exceptions aside, this is generally the way American men think. However, in countries where there AREN’T a glut of overweight women, where do you go then?

The widespread availability of sex-screening technology for pregnant women since the 1980s has resulted in the birth of a disproportionate number of South Korean males. What is more, South Korea’s growing wealth has increased women’s educational and employment opportunities, even as it has led to rising divorce rates and plummeting birthrates.

“Nowadays, Korean women have higher standards,” said Lee Eun-tae, the owner of Interwedding, an agency that last year matched 400 Korean bachelors with brides from Vietnam, China, the Philippines, Mongolia, Thailand, Cambodia, Uzbekistan and Indonesia. “If a man has only a high school degree, or lives with his mother, or works only at a small- or medium-size company, or is short or older, or lives in the countryside, he’ll find it very difficult to marry in Korea.”

Critics say the business demeans and takes advantage of poor women. But brokers say they are merely matching the needs of Korean men and foreign women seeking better lives.

Pay attention to the line above in red and the next bold red quote, below:

Ahn Jae-won, a Korean broker who has long been based in Hanoi and is married to a Vietnamese woman, began: “The women have come out looking their best for you. But don’t expect them to look as pretty as Korean women. There is a big gap in our G.D.P.’s. Don’t be condescending. Don’t lie. If you lie, they’ll find out eventually and feel betrayed and run away.

“The parents know that their daughters will marry a Korean man. The authorities know this is happening, but there’ll be trouble if we do it in front of them. So I seek your understanding. Once we land in Hanoi, even though it’ll be very late, we’ll go meet the women right away. It’s safer to do this at night.

“One last thing. Other companies allow you to sleep with the women on the first night. We don’t. Only on the bridal night. We must, after all, keep our decorum as Korean men. Is that O.K. with you?”

The two nodded.

Money is everything it seems, especially in the poorer nations. You have to appreciate the directness of that quote though. Less Money = Less Beauty. No political correctness, just blatant observation.

Mr. Kim reached out for a handshake, but the brokers pressed him to give his wife a hug.

“Don’t worry about me,” she said. “I’ll study Korean very hard, and by the time you see me I’ll be good at it. We had only a short time together. But I felt affection between us and started to feel love for you. When you’re in Korea, please call me.”

I’ve always maintained that dating in America is for the most part, agreed upon prostitution. Women agree to go on dates paid for by the guy, while the guy is hopeful that by spending on the right place and by spending the right amount, he can charm his way into her pants. However, from a business aspect, I suppose it’s really all about supply and demand. So long as the supply for what women demand is there, the men will be there to supply it.

You may look at the last block as sad - married now, but not even sure whether to hug or just shake hands. Marriage in America is very much the same sometimes. You spend thousands if not tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding ceremony, but after all the excitement dies down, you begin to wonder what changed? I usually tend to maintain the outlook that there is no benefit for man to get married. I guess in less developed countries though, adoption and children born out of wedlock aren’t really an option. So I guess I should update to just believing that in America… there is no benefit for a man to get married.

Tags: korean, women, men, vietnam, marriage, divorce, society, sex