Comments on: I Just Found Out My Girlfriend Used To Sleep Around A Lot – What Do I Do? http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/ AskUgg.com discusses Cheating, Relationships, Dating, Sex, Intimacy, Infidelity, and more! Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:27:44 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.4 By: Jon http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-59917 Jon Fri, 23 Dec 2011 15:44:37 +0000 http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-59917 Hi. I'm dating and engaged to a girl who is in the 10-15 range. I personally don't consider that too many because I have seen (and obviously read about) people in a much higher range. I knew this before I got too involved and it didn't really bother me until I realized that I was in love with her. And what bothers me isn't so much with her number directly; its with the fact that my number pales in comparison and I feel embarrassed. I'm in the 2 range (including her LOL). I know this is just my male ego being sensitive. However, I haven't been able to find a way to make it stop now in the past 9 months. Its something that I think about quite often. Time and time again, I am able to be rational and put it aside, but ultimately the cycle always repeats itself and I come right back to square-1. Its to the point now where I am starting to question whether or not I should go through with the marriage; do I really want to play mental gymnastics like this the rest of my life? I know that would be an incredibly immature thing to do, which is why I'm scouring the web looking for someone that can say something that will make it click for me. She's super hot too and I'm going to be the biggest jack ass in the world when I **** it up. Hi. I’m dating and engaged to a girl who is in the 10-15 range. I personally don’t consider that too many because I have seen (and obviously read about) people in a much higher range. I knew this before I got too involved and it didn’t really bother me until I realized that I was in love with her. And what bothers me isn’t so much with her number directly; its with the fact that my number pales in comparison and I feel embarrassed. I’m in the 2 range (including her LOL). I know this is just my male ego being sensitive. However, I haven’t been able to find a way to make it stop now in the past 9 months. Its something that I think about quite often. Time and time again, I am able to be rational and put it aside, but ultimately the cycle always repeats itself and I come right back to square-1. Its to the point now where I am starting to question whether or not I should go through with the marriage; do I really want to play mental gymnastics like this the rest of my life? I know that would be an incredibly immature thing to do, which is why I’m scouring the web looking for someone that can say something that will make it click for me. She’s super hot too and I’m going to be the biggest jack ass in the world when I **** it up.

]]> By: Honest Bob http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-58613 Honest Bob Fri, 16 Dec 2011 02:44:56 +0000 http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-58613 Your girlfriend is dirty - there are no 'double standards' that women like to harp on about. Women would think a man that has lots of sexual partners in a short amount of time is dirty...and us men think the same about women who do the same. She just has no morals, probably has the clap and will more than likely cheat on you. Your girlfriend is dirty – there are no ‘double standards’ that women like to harp on about. Women would think a man that has lots of sexual partners in a short amount of time is dirty…and us men think the same about women who do the same. She just has no morals, probably has the clap and will more than likely cheat on you.

]]> By: Lou http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-54652 Lou Mon, 14 Nov 2011 17:33:19 +0000 http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-54652 To every single one of you that is in a relationship with but not yet married, and is having a problem with the idea of your GF past promiscuity, do not get married, get out of the relationship, NOW! If you don't you will spend the reest of your life with haunting images of her past, no matter haow much you love her and no matter how hard you try not to. You desrve it and so does she. Let her find someone who acan accept it, and you find a lifelong parnter you can respect. There are men, some posted here, who save themsleves for mariage, who view sex as a precious act to be only shared between tow people who love each other and want only to be with each other and no others. It is devastating to a man or a woman who have saved themslves for a marriage partner, to find out after the fact that their wife (or husband) had been sexually promiscuous before they met, or while dating. To the woman who are reading this see themslves in this situation, if you have been physcally, emotionally or sexually abused, go right now and see a good counseler that can build back your life and self esteem and self respect. To every single one of you that is in a relationship with but not yet married, and is having a problem with the idea of your GF past promiscuity, do not get married, get out of the relationship, NOW! If you don’t you will spend the reest of your life with haunting images of her past, no matter haow much you love her and no matter how hard you try not to. You desrve it and so does she. Let her find someone who acan accept it, and you find a lifelong parnter you can respect.

There are men, some posted here, who save themsleves for mariage, who view sex as a precious act to be only shared between tow people who love each other and want only to be with each other and no others. It is devastating to a man or a woman who have saved themslves for a marriage partner, to find out after the fact that their wife (or husband) had been sexually promiscuous before they met, or while dating.

To the woman who are reading this see themslves in this situation, if you have been physcally, emotionally or sexually abused, go right now and see a good counseler that can build back your life and self esteem and self respect.

]]> By: A-Guy http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-51974 A-Guy Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:15:45 +0000 http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-51974 Wow, JH, you really hit the nail on the head...that's exactly what it is too! Wow, JH, you really hit the nail on the head…that’s exactly what it is too!

]]> By: A-Guy http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-51973 A-Guy Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:10:35 +0000 http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-51973 I totally agree with this. My gf was 26 when I met her, and she had 18 partners before me. Maybe 19, I'm not sure exactly. But it hurts so deep and damaged our relationship when I found out. I ended up falling in love with her, and now we're engaged. But this still cuts my heart deep and is always on my mind, Even after almost 2 years. I know for a fact it's going to always be on my mind for the rest of my life. It's a combination of things, if I'm her best, (of course she says so) but after 18... I'm pretty positive I am not...and how big of a slut she was, because most of those came in a 3 year window. It disgusts me.... I totally agree with this. My gf was 26 when I met her, and she had 18 partners before me. Maybe 19, I’m not sure exactly. But it hurts so deep and damaged our relationship when I found out. I ended up falling in love with her, and now we’re engaged. But this still cuts my heart deep and is always on my mind, Even after almost 2 years. I know for a fact it’s going to always be on my mind for the rest of my life. It’s a combination of things, if I’m her best, (of course she says so) but after 18… I’m pretty positive I am not…and how big of a slut she was, because most of those came in a 3 year window. It disgusts me….

]]> By: randomer http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-49267 randomer Tue, 23 Aug 2011 17:34:58 +0000 http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-49267 Only one way to solve this, women, don't be a slut. Only one way to solve this, women, don’t be a slut.

]]> By: Fred http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-46822 Fred Sat, 02 Jul 2011 19:05:57 +0000 http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-46822 When I dated my wife I knew she was a known highschool slut, like 50 guys by the time she was 15_ish In any even we fell in love and got married. Sex was always just ok, she was never a real agressive or horny partner like you might imagine. After a couple years things really cooled down. Fast forward after the third baby was born the sex life all but dead. I got the ocassional handjob and after months of begging maybe oral and in rare event maybe intercourse but always just accomodating me never hot, little to no foreplay. Things perked up for a little while a few years later and then baby four was on the way. After that baby she had tubes tied and then sex was completely over. I went 5 years no intercourse or oral almost two years not even handjob and then maybe a few of those over couple years. Now then aboout me: I am devoted and never cheated, Im a gentlemen, I respect women and open car and house doors (just way I was raised) i dont drink, im a excellent dad and home every night, I cook often, I clean the house often, I am a hopeless romantic and tried everything over the years but most of the time she makes me feel like its a waste of time and she has no interest in the nicest of things I do. I get pissed thinking about all the guys she gave out to and here I am devoting my entire life to her and get shit in return. I think there might have been a molestation in her past but she will not discuss it. It has only surfaced once or twice when she was extremely upset. I love her still and all our kids but I mean I was a virgin when we married and she is all I ever wanted, but as Im now in my mid 40's I dont wanna go my entire life without sex! she has no interest in sex or any other men. she seems to be willing to loose me if I push to hard for sex. so for now I live like this, just hoping things come back life for her. I've never pressured her really hard or made her feel too bad but I have told her how I feel. Not sure what the hell else if left to do? When I dated my wife I knew she was a known highschool slut, like 50 guys by the time she was 15_ish
In any even we fell in love and got married. Sex was always just ok, she was never a real agressive or horny partner like you might imagine. After a couple years things really cooled down. Fast forward after the third baby was born the sex life all but dead. I got the ocassional handjob and after months of begging maybe oral and in rare event maybe intercourse but always just accomodating me never hot, little to no foreplay. Things perked up for a little while a few years later and then baby four was on the way. After that baby she had tubes tied and then sex was completely over. I went 5 years no intercourse or oral almost two years not even handjob and then maybe a few of those over couple years.
Now then aboout me: I am devoted and never cheated, Im a gentlemen, I respect women and open car and house doors (just way I was raised) i dont drink, im a excellent dad and home every night, I cook often, I clean the house often, I am a hopeless romantic and tried everything over the years but most of the time she makes me feel like its a waste of time and she has no interest in the nicest of things I do.
I get pissed thinking about all the guys she gave out to and here I am devoting my entire life to her and get shit in return. I think there might have been a molestation in her past but she will not discuss it. It has only surfaced once or twice when she was extremely upset.
I love her still and all our kids but I mean I was a virgin when we married and she is all I ever wanted, but as Im now in my mid 40′s I dont wanna go my entire life without sex! she has no interest in sex or any other men. she seems to be willing to loose me if I push to hard for sex. so for now I live like this, just hoping things come back life for her. I’ve never pressured her really hard or made her feel too bad but I have told her how I feel. Not sure what the hell else if left to do?

]]> By: Harry http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-43094 Harry Mon, 04 Apr 2011 19:48:13 +0000 http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-43094 Right my girlfriend is 22 and she has slept with around 110. I feel sick everytime I think about it. She says, she isn't that person anymore. And that I should live in the present and not in the past. But that is a ridiculous idea. She has even admitted to just having sexual relationships with 5 different men at the same time, for many years. Her dad is an alcoholic, and she sometimes gets drunk and mentions sexual abuse, but won't divulge any further. I am finding it very difficult to move on from that horrific number. I am a modern person, and can quite easily accept a mistake or forgive somebody. But a 110! and this is by the age of 21. She says she lost her virginity at 12. But that is still no excuse. And she says she is not regretful of her past, because it has made her the person she is today. But she isn't that great a person. She makes no contribution to society to justify a wild past. I do love her, but it gives me this horrible lump in my throat that I just can't swallow. Sometimes when very loved up, she says I have changed her, and she has never loved someone like me, and sex was just sex, just something to do. And making love is something I have taught her. She has even gone as far as saying she feels like a born again virgin after meeting me. But how much of it is just to make me feel better. I have even resorted to religion, to try and deal with loving such a slut. Help. Right my girlfriend is 22 and she has slept with around 110. I feel sick everytime I think about it. She says, she isn’t that person anymore. And that I should live in the present and not in the past. But that is a ridiculous idea. She has even admitted to just having sexual relationships with 5 different men at the same time, for many years.

Her dad is an alcoholic, and she sometimes gets drunk and mentions sexual abuse, but won’t divulge any further. I am finding it very difficult to move on from that horrific number. I am a modern person, and can quite easily accept a mistake or forgive somebody. But a 110! and this is by the age of 21. She says she lost her virginity at 12. But that is still no excuse. And she says she is not regretful of her past, because it has made her the person she is today. But she isn’t that great a person. She makes no contribution to society to justify a wild past. I do love her, but it gives me this horrible lump in my throat that I just can’t swallow. Sometimes when very loved up, she says I have changed her, and she has never loved someone like me, and sex was just sex, just something to do. And making love is something I have taught her. She has even gone as far as saying she feels like a born again virgin after meeting me. But how much of it is just to make me feel better. I have even resorted to religion, to try and deal with loving such a slut. Help.

]]> By: Clint http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-42596 Clint Sat, 19 Mar 2011 03:30:09 +0000 http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-42596 interesting thread you've got here. my gf shared with me (without me prompting her or wanting to know) that she's slept with several girls, been in 1 relationship with a girl, had casual sex with several men and women, and been in a few threesomes. i'm in my thirties and have only slept with girls i cared about deeply (though not necessarily romantically). i was raised in a rigid household, but i'm very open-minded and accepting of others' lifestyles. her past does not bother me. however, she's still close friends with SEVERAL of the people she's slept with, men and women, and people with whom she's participated in 3somes. she didn't share that with me upfront and i found out by confronting her after my suspicions got the best of me. i'm deeply in love with her, but deeply troubled that she maintains these friendships. i've explained this to her and she's scaled back those friendships considerably...but it's not enough. almost all of the encounters happened within the last three years, some within the last year. she's in her early 20's so she's just coming out of the time period where most people go crazy sexually. she's a very faithful girl, very balanced, and hasn't suffered a trauma that caused her to sleep around - she just views casual sex as just that, and relationship sex as something else...but none of that is very comforting given these friendships still exist. ...and she's told me on many occasions that she wants to marry me. ...not looking for advice, but i am curious to know how others view my situation. interesting thread you’ve got here. my gf shared with me (without me prompting her or wanting to know) that she’s slept with several girls, been in 1 relationship with a girl, had casual sex with several men and women, and been in a few threesomes. i’m in my thirties and have only slept with girls i cared about deeply (though not necessarily romantically). i was raised in a rigid household, but i’m very open-minded and accepting of others’ lifestyles. her past does not bother me.

however, she’s still close friends with SEVERAL of the people she’s slept with, men and women, and people with whom she’s participated in 3somes. she didn’t share that with me upfront and i found out by confronting her after my suspicions got the best of me.

i’m deeply in love with her, but deeply troubled that she maintains these friendships. i’ve explained this to her and she’s scaled back those friendships considerably…but it’s not enough.

almost all of the encounters happened within the last three years, some within the last year. she’s in her early 20′s so she’s just coming out of the time period where most people go crazy sexually. she’s a very faithful girl, very balanced, and hasn’t suffered a trauma that caused her to sleep around – she just views casual sex as just that, and relationship sex as something else…but none of that is very comforting given these friendships still exist.

…and she’s told me on many occasions that she wants to marry me.

…not looking for advice, but i am curious to know how others view my situation.

]]> By: Buffalo http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-42347 Buffalo Wed, 09 Mar 2011 14:34:10 +0000 http://www.askugg.com/2007/03/10/i-just-found-out-my-girlfriend-used-to-sleep-around-a-lot-what-do-i-do/#comment-42347 my girlfriend use to sleep around too. she was desperate for love / male attention... plus all the other girls were doing it too. she is my first girlfriend and it hurts that while i was lonely and looking for a woman the right way she was giving it up to dudes that were using her. it makes me want to go out and bang other girls. it makes me an irrational animal. i just wish she didn't devalue herself by giving it to so many other dudes. i'd feel like her sexuality was a lot more special if she had saved it for serious relationships. my girlfriend use to sleep around too. she was desperate for love / male attention… plus all the other girls were doing it too.

she is my first girlfriend and it hurts that while i was lonely and looking for a woman the right way she was giving it up to dudes that were using her.

it makes me want to go out and bang other girls.
it makes me an irrational animal.
i just wish she didn’t devalue herself by giving it to so many other dudes. i’d feel like her sexuality was a lot more special if she had saved it for serious relationships.

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