THis is awesome. WAKE UP YOU FOOLS! 99% of Military MEN CHEAT - AND they are supported by their peers and command when they do get caught. It’s so funny that women are given a scarlet letter, but with men, a blind eye is turned. Wake up girls - if your guy is deployed there is a good chance he is having sex with other chics!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, sad but SO True. This is my opinion - if it’s deleted, then that supports what I am saying. No one wants to read the truth, and EVERYONE in the military covers it up. What goes TDY, stays TDY. F that. B strong and don’t tolerate it! Or the lies!!!!

Thanks!

I’m big on these stories because I’ve read of soldiers coming home and finding their lives torn apart by cheating spouses. Often traumatized from war, the last thing they can handle is their life torn apart in front of them. Sometimes they resort to violence, sometimes suicide, but especially if there are children involved, the soldier needs to know about this before heading home to find a big surprise waiting for him or her.

I have been reading this on Military Spouses cheating, and I must say, that I don’t know if you think all of us are that way or just a few. My husband is deployed, and will be until sometime in 2008, but I don’t put myself into a situation where I am going to cheat. We have two kids, and no matter the distance, we have an awesome life, and a love that isn’t going to change bc we’re apart. I don’t like seeing how some of you say All Military Wives are Whores or anything like that. Bc while there are spouses like that to give spouses like me bad names, many of us don’t. I know a lot of friends whose husbands are gone and none of them cheat either. Yeah it does happen, but mostly its the 18-20 yr olds who rushed into a marriage right before the soldier was deployed!

:eek3: indeed… maybe even a little :noes:

No need….

While I agree with what I believe you were TRYING to say… I’m sure our troops would appreciate you at least being able to properly spell the country they’re in

FYI- It’s spelled Iraq, not Irak.

Right, because she’s seen in public with a man that she’s not related to must mean she’s sleeping with him.

Wow Richard, I can’t imagine that was a welcome surprise. Thanks for the story and remember.. at least you didn’t end up raising a child that wasn’t yours. That’s happened to other men in stories in the ‘Cheating Lovers’ section!

Wow Richard -
You are just like me. I couldn’t help but respond. I came across this thread while looking up punishment for adultery. My wife was deployed overseas from October 2005 through February of this year while I raised our 4 year old. I found a number of e-mails between two guys during her deployment. One was at one place and then she was transferred. This continued on with another fellow. This is absolutely disgusting. I don’t know how we can expect other cultures to live by standards when we can’t even live to them. I just assume that her and every other pig that participated in this behavior get what they deserve for this crap.

The kicker of the story is that she ran off with the second of the two guys, but I assume that has not worked out, so now she is begging to come back. I have quit my job with the Army and moved my daughter and I out of state so I can finish graduate school. 4 year olds shouldn’t be asking to go to ‘Mommy’s boyfriend’s’ when I try to be a parent to this child.

The shoe is ready to drop on her and I had questions about punishment for this sort of crap. What happened in your instance. Did they end up blaming you for it. Thanks

Sorry to hear that happened to you. I know people in my husband’s unit that are coming home to wives that are expecting and it’s not theirs. I think if you are going to cheat, tell the other person and then you both can either fix it or get on with your lives. If my husband cheats on me - that is what will happen, the trust will be gone and not sure that can be rebuilt.

What do you need? You people are fighting in Iraq for nothing.

Wow Jeff!

Thanks for the comment - it seems that dads are winning more often nowadays and sometimes with good reason to.

Sorry for the circumstances, but it seems that you have the upper hand. Hopefully you make that work for you. It’s cliche, but the best revenge really is living a great life.

How did you get home? My parents found my wife cheating on me. I’m currently in Iraq. I can’t be here any longer. What can I do?

My husband is on his second deployment. I am just as in love with him (0r more) than I was the day we married. No, it hasn’t been easy - and we’ve had trial after trial, almost insurmountable trials throughout this time. Both of us have gone through things that have been very difficult - my health issues got worse and worse, and after 8 different procedures for different things, finally started to have difficulty swallowing and was found to have a cancerous mass that had to be removed. HE has been dealing with an ex (that after 16 years and 5 kids cheated on him and cleaned him out) who was also abusing the kids - they kept begging him for help, so he had to file protective orders and finally she hurt one of them bad enough that the cops removed them. Still, thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees later, she is appealing and appealing, trying anything she can to get her meal ticket (the kids) back. My husband came home on leave to get them, and then went back to Afghanistan and left them with me. Little did I know that the poor kids suffered many, many mental problems as a result of being abused - and they then abused my little daughter. One of them started leaving me detailed letters about how he was going to cut me and her up and string us up on meat hooks after cutting off my genitals - sick stuff like that. I had no idea the extent of the mental injuries and the psychosis these poor kids had as a result of traumatic experiences they had gone through themselves. Meanwhile, she is suing and suing, and my husband was trying to get SRCA to help - but the judge of a very small town is in her back pocket. ANYWAY - my point being, that I took these kids, and loved them and my husband enough to get them help (they both are presently in treatment). My husband extended and has currently been away from us for 2 1/2 years. When he did come home for leave, he had PTSD and was not the same man when he left. (how could he be???) I have loved him anyway. I have been faithful through this and more, and cried myself to sleep many nights - I’ve felt heartbroken and lonely, hurt and the list goes on.Some people think that if you’re a fat, old, and ugly wife, that’s why you don’t cheat. I am neither fat,ugly, or old and am currently in school to become a doctor. It has nothing to do with if you’could’ cheat or not. I have had opportunity. I tell anyone that tries to get lost and that my husband is my love and I would never hurt him that way. Even when he is not at his best, and is suffering from PTSD. I remember what he was like before he left, and I want to give him time to work through what has happened to him. What I haven’t done is ABANDON the man that is fighting for yours and my freedom - while he is over there going through horrific stress the least that I can do is put my needs aside and be supportive and FAITHFUL!!! I would want him to do the same for me. He has come home more emotionally numb, closed off, distant, quick to anger with me and the kids, etc. and I am still here, loving him. Please do not think me a doormat, ethier. I am a very independent woman, with a fine self-esteem. I’m also a hospice nurse and my job is very stressful and emotionally demanding. It has taught me that love is the most important thing in life - and those that are selfish and about themselves end up dyiing alone and the end for them is so sad. While my husband was at Camp Shelby getting ready to leave, he went and sat down at a computer that had been used by a higher up in his unit. He had left his email open and he had been having an affair with another woman he had met while he was there. Another guy in his unit used his 3 day pass before shipping out to sleep with someone locally and kept up the affair the entire time. These kinds of things happened regularly with guys on the deployment. On the other side of the world, I watched as the wives did different things as well. Believe me, too - the unit wives that are home know which wives stayed faithful, and which didn’t. It is so sad to watch. My husband would call and tell me how much so and so missed his wife and family, while I knew that woman was out clubbing every weekend and had been sleeping with other guys. What my husband reminded me about was that this happens all the time when people AREN’T deployed, also. It just seems more magnified when the soldiers are deployed I think. I was cheated on in a previous marriage and it devastated me. My husband went through that as well in his previous marriage. All that I can say to the people out there that are doing this, is to please think about how you would feel if the man you married were lyiing to you, spending money that you had earned on someone else, intentionally train-wrecking your marriage and the safety and stability for your children. If you are no longer in love with your spouse and use that as an excuse - why can’t you try harder to see positives in that person, to build them up and try to at least treat them as you would want to be treated and communicate honestly. I’ve never understood why people don’t protect themselves from situations where they could fall in love with someone else, don’t flirt, don’t put yourself in places alone with someone of the opposite sex when you are lonely, don’t start confiding in people other than your spouse. I have so many girlfriends that tell me that they can’t talk to their military husband anymore because he has changed since the deployment. That’s how they justify going to someone else for their “needs”. It is sickening. If you were in a horrible accident and couldn’t meet the needs of your partner for a little while, would you want them to abandon you and start up a fling while you were fighting for your life??? These guys live for their families - the love that you show them over there gives them the strength and purpose to fight and to be courageous and brave. The appreciation that you give them helps heal their hearts, and handling things at home responsibly and with the thought of what they are sacrificing for you and the kids should be in the forefront of your mind. It is not the time to selfishly put your needs first and insist that they not only do what they have to do out there, but worry about your selfishness back home. I just don’t and never will understand it. There have been times in my marriage where my husband has been going through alot and I will say, I’ve been feeling lonely for a very long time. I have been patiently waiting for my husband to get through the trials with his ex and be ‘present” in this relationship. I’ve used my paychecks to pay her alimony and help supplement child support. I’ve taken care of his children who abuse me because I am the mother figure they associate with hate even though I have never yelled or hit them - only treated them with love. I have been lashed out at by my husband who is suffering from the war. I cry, get hurt, feel lost, alone just like anybody else. But the thing that I will not do is cheat on my spouse. ESPECIALLY while he is fighting a war and needs me to be strong here and take care of our home and children. It’s like kicking a guy in the &*^^s when he’s already down. Not right. For those that are going through this - I am so sorry. I know it might not feel like it right now - but truly, this too shall pass. I went through it, and thought that I would die - never have I gone through anything past or present that was so devastating as that kind of betrayal. But I survived it to meet a man who I adore - even though things are hard for us right now. There ARE women who don’t lie, cheat, and act like whores while their husbands are fighting valiantly like the heros they are. Protect yourself if this is happening to you. If you suspect it is going on, do everything in your power to protect your assests and your children if you have them. Go to the Jag and get a new power of attorney done. Send it out to your parents or someone you trust so that she can’t sell your house from under you. Change your insurance beneficiaries to someone that will hold in trust your money so your children will have help. Don’t trust her when she lies and says she still loves you and will work it out. You can go into mypay and change the bank account your money goes into and then send the pay online the mortgage and accounts in your name. Look up the states requirment for child support and only send her what you would be required to pay for the kids,so she can’t sue you for nonsupport and you handle the payments of all the other accounts. That way you will not have your credit ruined. What these women don’t understand, is that you still have a way to get on the computer and can deal with the finances still. My husband couldn’t access our bank overseas because of the banks’ own rules for security, but he could always call the customer service people and do transfers to pay things over the phone. Have a trusted family member open an account for you and have your paycheck diverted there. Play hard ball. Also, don’t allow for a divorce or anything to be finalized while you are there - use the SRCA laws to prevent the courts from awarding custody or ordering child support while you are not there to make appearances. Also, document anything that you find out she is doing. Hire a private investigator to gather evidence for you. I know it sucks right now, but you must not let your emotions govern the way you do things right now. Divorce and settlements will haunt you for the rest of your life if you settle in a way that is in your ex’s favor. She may manipulate you and make you feel that if you agree on something she will get back with you later or whatever, but she is lyiing to get what she wants.As soon as she committed adultery, the court was on your side. She basically broke a contract - the marriage contract - and she will try and sucker you to just write ‘irrecon. differences” so that the divorce can be modified down the road and it looks like you were both at fault. This is the typical “no fault” divorce. In this situation, it was somebody’s fault HERS. So you want that to be on paper. It will have a huge affect on the outcome of your finances, visitation, custody, etc. Also DO NOT let her have sole custody. At the very least, have joint legal - I would suggest pushing for you to have the custody, even if you have no idea how you will do it. Hiring a babysitter will end up being alot cheaper in the long run than having to pay her for the next 18 years. I promise you - what we have gone through with my husbands ex has been horrific. She twisted all of his kids minds to think HE was the one and that he had abandoned them - while at the same time telling him they didn’t want to visit, etc. I could go on and on. It is just a mess. The FIRST time this happens, freeze any accounts you have that are both of you - if you dont you may be paying off debts for years that you didn’t create, and will not have a foot to stand on because you were still married. I have seen so many guys that lost everything while they were deployed because their cheating spouse had power of attorney. Don’t forget that there is a JAG and that you can make a new one while you are there and that will cancel out the other one. Make sure you send a letter to your spouse so that she knows and have her email you about it (so you have her pissed off email as proof if she does anything in your name after the new one is made - then you can file charges against her). Mostly, just keep calm and don’t lose it - at least nowhere near her, where she can use that against you in court later to get your kids.Don’t come home and go postal on the boyfriend you’ll just end up in jail, lose your military career, and your kids. You’ll validate her argument that you are an abusive husband, or a bad father. Even though any man would want to kill the SOB that destroyed his marriage, as hard as it is right now, don’t just focuss on the guy. It take two people. If a hot babe came on to you and you slept with her - is she the only one to blame? No. So many people just treat the wife as a victim and go after the guy. Your wife is the one that knew she was married. How do you know what lies she told the guy so that he thought you were an ass and he was saving her from you - the abusive, crazy war vet??? I’ve seen women lie about their good husbands so the other guy thinks they are actually saving her from such a bad man. Fight this battle smart and you will end up winning in the end. Success is the best revenge. She’s not worth it - and you will see that later on down the road, even if you love her more than anything in the world and want to forgive and forget - these types of people don’t change, and you will let the opportunity for you to find someone you can love 100% and trust go. Don’t take it out on yourself ethier - don’t let thoughts of suicide or feelings of giving up take you down. Turn those feelings into anger for now - anger will make it easier to disassociate from the hurt and get you through the hard part of the legal process. Afterward, let the hurt out so that the anger doesn’t fester and end up hurting you and the ones you love. Don’t let this make you bitter and hate women!!!There are so many women out there that will love their spouse, that will honor and appreciate a good man and honor their vows. I am disgusted by the women (and men) out there that do this to each other. I don’t care what people say THERE IS NO EXCUSE!!! Alot of women use the “he was abusing me” excuse. I went through this myself with my ex.He was very abusive, emotionally and physically. I still did not cheat! I kicked him out and ended the relationship. I would not cheat even though he had multiple times. After he was aware the relationship was done, and only then - did I move on and now am with a man who loves me and is faithful. I know this is so long, but I hope it helps someone out there. I know this is probably one of the darkest times of your life if you are going through this - but keep your head up and stay strong. You are the elite of our nation, and there are many out here who respect, appreciate, and honor you for your service and integrity. Don’t stay with someone that disrespects you in this way, and uses you. Do you and your children a favor and show them that true love is real by moving on and finding someone that will treat you well. Don’t give up and don’t give in!!! You are worth more than that - and no woman that cheats is worth your time, money, love for one more second!!! Oh- and don’t sleep with her ethier - even if you think it’s just ‘one last time’ or saying goodbye, or because you just miss her so bad, etc. etc. she could be trying to trap you by getting pregnant - OR give you some disease that will keep you from moving on and having a happy relationship with someone good to you.I’ve seen women who got pregnant from the guy they cheated with try and hook up with the jilted spouse - then get back together when she tells him the baby is his. It is so sad!!! I had a friend who confided in me that her son was her husband’s brother’s and he didn’t know!!! How sick! She has already shown you the kind of person she is deep down. Don’t believe her crying, lies, show of remorse - just harden your heart and move on. Strike one, you’re out. Trust me - I have studied the biology that makes people cheaters - and scientists are finding more and more evidence that people that can justify cheating are the same ones that will take and take and never be satisfied, turn things around on YOU so that you always feel beaten up, beat down, unappreciated, and empty. You’ll work harder and harder to make her happy and she will never be happy - just keep asking you to do more and more. On the flipside, there are women out there that have been married to men like this - and their personality is such that they DO value a man for life and believe in marriage and monogamy. Good luck! Don’t forget you are a HERO!!!!

Can I first say that you type like a teenager? For being 40, your grammar and spelling is atrocious. If you actually are 40, you should know what that means.

Secondly; did you know read any of the stuff on here? Guys don’t want to be cheated on, if you’re going to do it, they’d rather you up and leave. As a guy myself, I’d rather my girl leave me without an explanation and keep me wondering than to find out that she cheated on me. Not only does it hurt a guys emotions, but it directly affects every aspect of his life, especially his self-esteem.

SO JUST LEAVE!

And I hope when you do leave, you don’t get ANYTHING from this marriage; no money, no cars, nothing except maybe your clothes. But that’s only because, let’s be honest, is he going to wear them? And how would that look if another woman came into his life after you?

SO TAKE YOUR CLOTHES AND FEMININE PRODUCTS AND LEAVE!