As honest as we may try to be, there will always be secrets that are held back from those we love due feeling that the secret would be hurtful to them, seemingly unnecessary for them to know, or because of plain old forgetfulness. But which secrets do you keep from your lover? Do you hide secrets from your Wife? Your Husband? At which point do you start to disclose the dirt in your life to the person close to you in a relationship or marriage?

When this question was posed to a few folks out there, some interesting responses came back:

Yes, because I told him a secret, and he told his friends. It wasn’t even my secret, which made me feel even more betrayed. He can’t keep secrets, so there’s no point telling him secrets. They’re called secrets for a reason, and believe me, when I say secrets, they are things so important or so horrible, that they’re worth keeping secret.

Yes.. At a company fundraiser last year, my wife headed back to our hotel room after she wasn’t feeling well. We’d been fighting that day about small things and after a few drinks I was feeling liberated. A coworker with a crush on me had sat at my table and we wandered off to look around. That night I cheated on my wife. My coworker was able to keep the secret as we were on friendly terms and so I kept the secret from my wife as well. I love her and I feel that because I got to see the “other side”, I’ve been a better husband to her because I went through the pain of thinking what it would be like if I lost her due to this secret.

It haunts me every night, but I will keep that secret to the death…

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What to do about that girl who always gets a little too friendly?

Ugg,

My girlfriend, her best friend and I went out to a club last night. Everything was OK until, for the one minute we separated and they both started dancing together, and I was just standing against the wall and watching. Her friend comes up to me and starts dancing (a little freak dancing) with me.

So long story short, we ended up getting into a huge fight about how she can’t believe I did that etc… But the thing is that this is her best friend and we have gone out before and she has sometimes asked me to dance with her so she won’t feel lonely etc.. My girlfriend got a little too drunk and we got into a huge fight.

Did I mess up? Or is she just looking for drama? How should I react?

Threesomes – One Too Many

Often the problem with threesomes in other contexts, this is pretty common in a club environment. Girls love dancing with girls because they’re good company, there’s always room for innocent flirtation, and it also keeps other men at bay. However, often a girlfriend will be attracted to her friend’s man because he’s forbidden fruit or because she’s jealous of what you two have. Or of course, she could just be a bit slutty and considers you as having been screened well enough for her to safely get her tramp on.

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A good friend of mine likes online dating because she is busy, seems to have figured out that men at bars aren’t shopping for personality, and likely because she can easily center the universe around herself.

I’m being overly sarcastic, but the truth is that for many women, online dating, webcams, or attention-whoring on message boards, is a great way to feed your ego. You can choose to put your best angles up, choose your best photo, say absolutely nothing at all of substance, and still be guaranteed massive results.

While the same can almost be said for men, the aforementioned offers one thing a man won’t find without working on his online dating profile: Results.

Additionally, these pictures prove that many men lack any sort of “online game”. There are a few things to message a girl with that will help get responses, but they’re not “Hi”, “Hey”, or an empty subject line.

Some guys will get by on looks alone and some guys just get plain lucky. For those more serious about the game, there are PUA or “Pick Up Artist” tactics that seem to get better results. Although it takes a lot of time to learn and if you still look like a giant douche, you will probably just make yourself look like a slightly more annoying Turtle from Entourage.

But on the to the meat of things. When talking about online dating, my friend sent me these 5 pictures of her inbox. This was after less than 4 days on the site she joined.

Guys.. The next time you send a message to someone on an online dating site.. Look at these pics and think twice about what you’re saying. While I’m not a woman, I have to say the subject that looks like it has the best chances of being picked is the one labeled, “xbox kicks wii’s ass”.

Oh, and for the love of God, gifts and “online roses” on the first contact… Little bit creepy.

Screen #1

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Every now and then folks get together to make Craigslist a better place. Better, at least, for those of us not seriously using it for its intended purposes that is. Expect to see this letter get selected for “Best Of Craigslist” if it isn’t taken down first.

A group of guys presumably (as these started popping up all over within minutes of each other) got together and posted this fantastically written diatribe on “men seeking women” craigslist pages throughout the US. The basis of the copy/paste submission was pretty much against the prototypical woman you tend to find today in the dating scene.

If you’ve posted one of these in your local m4w section, I’m curious what replies you’re getting.

I realize you’re probably every bit as bitter with men as I am with your cunty compatriots

Through my dealings with the fairer sex over the previous 23 years I have become completely disillusioned with females (all people really, but I’m not trying to date guys) and have now resorted to the internet in an effort to find one that I can at least tolerate for extended periods of time.

You want to know about me? I’ll tell you what I’m not.

1) I am not your father. I will not tolerate childish bullshit when you don’t get your way and I will not throw money at you to shut you up.
2) I am not your hobby. That’s why you have friends. This road goes both ways though, and you’re not expected to join me on any trips you don’t want to. I’ve got friends for that too.
3) I am not someone who puts the toilet seat down after I urinate. You’re a big girl now and if you can’t be bothered to so much as look at where you’re about to park your ass, you deserve the cold embrace of toilet water (and god help anyone around you on the road).

Here’s where we get to you. As a staunch rationalist, I realize you’re probably every bit as bitter with men as I am with your cunty compatriots, possibly having almost given up on us. My (admittedly weak) theory is you have not yet lost all hope but have simply turned to a less social lifestyle and are casually perusing the Craigslist personals just waiting for my ad to pop up so we can end our days in perpetual bliss or whatever storybook bullshit those cookie cutter girls get off on.

I am not an extremely picky guy. Being my dream girl is more a matter of the things you aren’t than the things you are.

My ideal woman
-when asked about her hobbies, has more to say than, “Like, you know, stuff,” or the always popular “shopping, hanging out, music, friends.”
-can think outside her own head and understand that while her wants and needs are her priority (and there’s nothing wrong with that), those around her have their own desires.
-takes care of herself to some degree. We can’t help certain aspects of our appearance, but if you don’t bathe regularly and have eaten yourself fat it demonstrates a fatal lack of respect for yourself that one would expect to bleed into other aspects of your behavior.

If you’ve read this much crap and are actually interested, we might just stand a chance. Send me an email that makes me think, laugh, or hope.

For the love of a God in which I don’t even believe, just someone show me you’re not all the same.

Caught this and thought it was hilarious. While it’s more than likely in jest (although you never can be sure with Craigslist), the tone of the question is entirely relevant.

In today’s society, we live in an age where women have ushered in an era of sexual freedom where they can use their “power” to leverage an exchange between the wants of the sexes. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing by any means. Many men enjoy a modern woman. However, you never get anything for free. Now that we’ve moved away from the biblical “I honor you, you obey me” way of thinking, anything is fair game. As such, many men realize that today you don’t need to buy the cow to get the milk – you can check out one of the many attractive lease options available!

After all, when you evaluate the details of the “finances vs beauty” question, there’s no denying that when it comes to guys, if we’re the ones with the money, it’s a no brainer. What can you do married that you can’t do cohabitating? If “get divorced” was the only answer you could come up with, you’re not alone. Many men are wondering what they get from the cost and hassles of a traditional wedding as well.

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